How the World Sees You Is None of Your Business.
People’s opinion of you doesn’t determine your value. No one’s opinion of you determines your truth. No one’s perception of you is complete or accurate except your own.
Your opinion of you is what determines your value and truth, and only you are in control of creating that.
“Your opinion of me is none of my business.”
— Joseph Binning
How can someone say something to you, you know isn’t true, but believe it? By not knowing exactly who you really, truly are. When you define yourself by the words and opinions of others and don’t take the time and dedication to focus and discover the truth of who you are for yourself, you will forever be sensitive to, and weakened by the words, opinions, and actions of others. Empower yourself by knowing who you are, what you love, what you want, what you can do, and why you are here.
“Words have power only if you allow them to”.
— Joseph Binning
Each of us has a story.
We compose our stories based on many of our beliefs and experiences. Your story dictates how you see yourselves.
- Someone was mean and never apologized, so your hurt feelings turn into resentment, which turns into a wound you carry, which causes you to act mean to others.
- You don’t feel forgiven for something you’re ashamed of, so you hold back forgiveness for others.
- Possibly you received the message that you were not worthy, so you didn’t and don’t feel worthy, and you allow others to ignore, condemn, use, or abuse you.
Your minds create negative chatter.
The mind tells you what to believe and what to listen to. As you listen, you create your realities, based on your mind chatter, your story, and your self-image.
When you create this reality that says: This is how my life should look: This is how I should look: This is the treatment I deserve, you end up not liking yourselves for being mean to others, for holding back forgiveness, for allowing others to mistreat or ignore you. And you mistreat yourselves, hold back your own emotional nourishment, put yourselves last. You want to feel better, but don’t know how, because you’re conditioned to believe this story that dictates whether you are worthy of feeling better.
You believe that this reality you created is how life really is.
You’re not aware that you have created this, or that it is an illusion. Your distorted self-image has been growing for so many years that it has become entwined in every part of your being, and you cannot see that it is not real, that it is not an accurate reflection of who you really are.
What is the ultimate and only reason we don’t have an accurate, strong, and high self-image?
Fear keeps us frozen (see my post titled What I Learned From Being Stuck and Frozen and why you need to read this)—sometimes for years—sometimes entire lifetimes. Here’s what I mean by fear.
- The Fear of disappointing someone.
- Fear of failing.
- The Fear of being alone.
- Fear of being wrong.
- The Fear of dying.
- Fear of making the wrong choice.
- The Fear of being hurt, emotionally or physically.
- Fear of making a mistake.
- The Fear of not being good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, powerful enough, capable enough, exciting enough.
- Fear of not being seen.
- The Fear of not being chosen.
- Fear of being thought strange.
- The Fear of falling.
Perhaps you say that you are not afraid; you are just caring, realistic, concerned, smart, cautious, or even intentional. But if any of these self-defined characteristics cause you to do things differently than you secretly want to, they are running you. They are inward drivers dictating your behaviors.
Why are you so afraid—aka worried, thoughtful, realistic, concerned, smart, cautious?
Because of conditioning from birth, by everyone who has had an influence on you, to believe that you are not capable, deserving, self-equipped, or powerful on your own and that you need acceptance and protection, to be molded, and directed.
This false set of beliefs has hypnotized you into a crippling amnesia that has caused you to forget who you really are. Read my post on Mediocrity* not the life you’re here for, for a reminder.
Despite what you have learned, you cannot find the truth outside of yourselves, in someone else, or by applying any external remedy.
You cannot solve an internal distortion with an external action. No vacation, medicine, food, job, therapy, or relationship can fix a distorted view of yourselves and your reality.
How to find your true Self by sitting quietly, with just your Self.
The only way to see who you really are is by taking time by yourself, getting to know your Self. Get to know the parts of the you that have always been—the innocent, wonder-filled, joy-seeking fresh being that is still you, the you who believed in possibility, the you who dreamed and wished and believed, the you who explored and created and pretended. The you who made imaginary houses, travels, and worlds. The you who knew no limits and was un-stoppable.
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
— Blaise Pascal, French Philosopher
That You IS still in you, and so much more.
Get to know the new parts you haven’t taken time to know yet or integrate—the parts of you-you are becoming, the parts of you that have grown, developed, clarified, and grown into, and the parts that you are visioning for yourself. How do you see your true self?
By taking time alone, separating your true Self from everyone else, to find out who you are outside of all the world’s opinions, illusions, and dictations. That is the path to discovering every wonderful, unique, and minute detail about what makes you YOU.
You can create what you wish to believe about yourself if you choose to.
You can choose in this now moment, and from this moment forward, to create a new reality for yourself. When something doesn’t end up the way you wanted it to, or thought it should, rather than saying, “This always happens to me,” ask yourself, “How does this affect me? Who am I being in this situation? Is this really me? Is this the person I want to be? How am I feeling: scared, angry, controlled, hurt, wrong, not good enough? How do I want to feel? What new learning am I getting from this situation? What outcome do I want? How can I create my outcome? How can I be responsible in this now moment? What alternative way or idea is presenting itself to me right now? Who do I want to be in this situation?”
How to free yourselves from these fears that affect your actions, routine, thoughts, behavior, body, mood, emotions, freedom.
As you lay in bed at night, before you go to sleep, begin a habit of one or more of these practices to feel good about your Self:
- Focus on what went right today. What was good about it? What felt good? Only good. Don’t do the “High and Low” game. Don’t focus on what went wrong. Only do the high. What did you learn or discover?
- Feel a place inside of you that feels gratitude for today, but not for things. Things are fleeting. Focus on moments. Moments can live in the mind and heart forever. Your moments belong only to you.
- Create a victory journal and write your victories of the day, great and small. When you’re feeling low, re-read the victories and relive them. Remind yourself of your ability to have them.
- As you lay awaiting sleep, pay close attention to what you let into your thoughts. Tires do not go flat all at once, but slowly, from a small leak caused from absentmindedly being parked in a space of debris and unseen, yet deadly nails. Thoughts are like that. They gather momentum, no matter which way they go. Refocus your thoughts toward the positive, appreciative, reflective, to keep them from going sour. Fall asleep with the thoughts that make you feel good on our mind!
Stand from the highest place in your story, not in the thick of it, not in the bottom.
From the moment you make the choice to create a new reality for your Self, you are no longer a victim. Begin small or big, here or there. It matters not where. Just begin. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. When you take the first step, and then the next, and the next, it will amaze you at how far you go and how fast you grow.
The Universe made only one of you.
You are unique and special. The world needs your uniqueness, but only when you are being you, not someone else. It’s your self-image that you are creating, not a duplicate of someone else.
Life rewards the brave, bold, and clear. So be brave in discovering who you are.
Be bold in being who you are. Always be clear in expressing who you are.
You have boldness, bravery, and clarity in you.
Remember, you were born with it.
You are Great!
You might also like this: IN ORDER TO LOVE SOMEONE WELL, YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF, FIRST * 12 EASY STEPS TO LEARN HOW
If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.
You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so
For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report