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Reflections of Yesterday Can Create A Better Tomorrow

Published: 28 December 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
No comments
Categories: Personal Growth

Reflections of Yesterday Can Create A Better Tomorrow

Reflections of Yesterday Can Create A Better Tomorrow
Reflections of Yesterday Can Create A Better Tomorrow

Everyone has a past, some good, some bad. We call it the past because it is behind us, in the distance. History teaches us that if we cannot reflect on our past, it destines us to repeat it. As we enter this new season of our lives, it is always good to take a moment and reflect on it because Reflections of Yesterday Can Create A Better Tomorrow.

“Time never tires of running,”

-Amad (The great Egyptian poet)

With a new year comes new opportunities. Opportunities to grow. Opportunities to serve others. Opportunities to create a better existence for ourselves, our Loved ones, and the world.

With a new year come new challenges. Challenges to us personally. Challenges to our families. Challenges to our tribe. Challenges to our world as we know it.

But we, as people of humanity, can face these challenges and overcome them. We have the power within us collectively and individually to overcome any obstacle that life puts in front of us, no matter the circumstance.

As long as people of humanity have existed, wrongs have happened. We have carried injustices out. Some in the name of progress, some in the name of greed, and some in seek of power.

In order to overcome our past and prevent from making the same mistakes, we, as people of humanity, must reflect and take an honest look at ourselves individually in order to prevent the past from reoccurring in our future.

Reflections of Yesterday Can Create A Better Tomorrow
Reflecting on the past does not mean standing in it, it means standing on it.

Merriam-Webster defines reflection as:

Reflection noun

: a thought, idea, or opinion formed, or a remark made because of meditation[1]

 

“Study the past if you would define the future.”

-Confucius

Reflecting on the past does not mean standing in it, it means standing on it. Your past does not make you who you are, it merely makes you where you are. Reflecting on it is how we do not repeat it. We all have made mistakes; we all know that. But if we are to move forward into a bright new era, we must reflect on what did not serve us and change it.

In the definition above, we should take special not to the instructions given:

a thought, idea, or opinion formed…

because of meditation…

In order to change the way life has been will require humanity, starting with ourselves, to think different thoughts. Thoughts lead to emotions. Emotions lead to ideas. Ideas lead to action. Action leads to change.

Reflection should start with ourselves first. In this fast-paced society, we now live in a time where spending time alone without distractions is exceedingly difficult for us. We have grown accustomed to the distractions. Some would say addicted to them.

Timothy Wilson, a social psychologist at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville and colleagues, conducted a test and recruited hundreds of undergraduates and community volunteers to take part in “thinking periods.”

The results were shocking. When given the choice of being shocked by pushing a button while being left alone by themselves or not, 67% of males, and 25% of women shocked themselves because they could not entertain themselves with cell phones and outside distractions removed for the environment there were in.[2]

Arabic Proverbs: Mafish Halawa Min Gheir Nar:

Translation: There is no sweetness without fire.

Meaning: Nothing good comes easy.

Self-reflection is difficult, especially with outside distractions. My suggestion is to start slowly. Go for a small walk and do not look at your phone. Extend the time until you get comfortable without it for a short while.

When you are ready, start reflecting. Reflecting on the past should be constructive, with no judgements or guilt attached.

Your past does not make you who you are, only where you are.

-Joseph Binning, author

Reflecting on the past does not mean standing in it, it means standing on it.
Reflecting on the past should be constructive, with no judgements or guilt attached.

Start with the old self. Reflect on:

  • Mistakes and patterns from the past and how they served you or didn’t.
  • Your attitude towards life and those around you.
  • Your spirt and how you nurtured it or didn’t.
  • Your strengths and victories and how they served you or didn’t.
  • Your weakness and defeats and what can be learned from them.
  • Your attitude overall and how it served you or didn’t.

Next reflect on your Spirit. Reflect on:

  • Your belief system. Did it serve you or not?
  • Your open mindedness or lack of. Did it serve you or not?
  • Did you feel centered and connected to your source or not?
  • Did you test all things or take it on faith they were your truth?

Next reflect on your family. Reflect on:

  • Did you lead them to help them grow or not?
  • Were you kind and did you protect them from yourself or not?
  • Did you put them first or not?
  • Did you serve them or not?

Next reflect on your new self. Reflect on:

  • What can you change to make yourself a better person for you?
  • How can you show yourself more self-Love in order to Love better?
  • How can you empower yourself in order to empower others better?
  • How can you be humbler in order to show others more humility?

Next reflect on the future. Reflect on:

  • Reflect on learning to leave the past behind you in order to protect today.
  • Reflect and envision the feats and memories you want to create in your future.
  • Reflect on how you can help more people outside of your tribe.
  • Reflect on the legacy you want to leave behind.

 

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.”

-Confucius

History will repeat itself unless we acknowledge our past. We need not stand in it, but on it. Stand on your story, not in it. By learning to be still long enough for your inner voice to speak to you, so you might hear what it has to say that will make your tomorrow a brighter day. Therefore Reflections of Yesterday Can Create A Better Tomorrow.

Reflecting on the past should be constructive, with no judgements or guilt attached.
History will repeat itself unless we acknowledge our past.

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

-Babe Ruth

 

I’ve written another article that you might like. You can read it here:

IN THE END ALL THAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU DO

 

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

You Matter, even if you don't think so by Joseph Binning
You Matter, even if you don’t think so by Joseph Binning

[1] Reflection definition/Merriam-Webster.com/accessed 11/19/2020/ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reflection

[2] People would rather be electrically shocked than left alone with their thoughts/ Nadia Whitehead/ Jul. 3, 2014, 2:00 PM/accessed 11/AAAS.com/ https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2014/07/people-would-rather-be-electrically-shocked-left-alone-their-thoughts

Before You Begin A Journey of Revenge, Dig Two Graves

Published: 23 November 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
1 Comment
Categories: Change

Before You Begin A Journey of Revenge, Dig Two Graves

 

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Before You Begin A Journey of Revenge, Dig Two Graves

 

“He Who Seeks Revenge Digs Two Graves”

— Chinese Proverb

Most people are familiar with the expression Revenge is a meal best served cold, but Before You Begin A Journey of Revenge, Dig Two Graves.

Most of us, when wronged, hurt, or feel betrayed, want to avenge the wrong, to make it right in our eyes. But is revenge worth it? The desire for revenge creates pent up anger which:

  • Causes you to lose yourself and prevent you from focusing on where you are and where you need to go.
  • Causes you to live in that moment until released and prevents forward momentum.
  • Can make you physically and emotionally sick.
  • Clouds your judgement and can cause you to do something you wouldn’t normally do, say, or act like.
  • Can make you bitter.
  • Won’t make you feel better and could make you feel worse.

 

Merriam-Webster defines revenge as:

revenge verb

1: to avenge (oneself or another) usually by retaliating in kind or degree

2: to inflict injury in return for[1]

 

“Revenge… is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews that gave it motion,”

— Jeremy Taylor, author[3]

If we are honest with ourselves and look at the outcomes and the fallout from revenge, we must look at the possibility that it could backfire.

I knew a person who disliked the fact that his girlfriend was “a big flirt”. This centered on his insecurity, but he didn’t see it that way.

One night, he and his girlfriend were at a party and she was being her social self. Annoyed with her, the man started flirting with a young woman to “get back at her” and in his mind wanted her to see how it felt.

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If we are honest with ourselves and look at the outcomes and the fallout from revenge, we must look at the possibility that it could backfire.

The woman followed him into an empty room where she enticed him into having sex with her, which he did using the excuse he was drunk to justify his terrible choice. When they finished the woman walked up to the man’s girlfriend and told her what had just happened.

The girlfriend had enticed another man from that woman in the past and she was exacting her form of payback on the girlfriend and had used the man to get it. The man and his girlfriend are no longer together.

So how do we just forgo the need to exact revenge on another? Know that your thoughts “attract” things, situations, and people into your life daily. They will either move you towards where you need to be, or away from it. The choice is yours.

When you let go the need for revenge in your life, you allow better things to take its place. Not allowing the pent-up anger to fester in the first place can satisfy you and liberate you.

 

I have a friend who once told me to that it is okay to forgive someone who did not ask for it, for my benefit, but to mark them in the back of your brain. When pressed for a definition of that he said “to forgive is our nature because we ourselves are not perfect, but to allow it to happen twice goes against our nature and should be avoided at all costs”.

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to forgive is our nature because we ourselves are not perfect, but to allow it to happen twice goes against our nature and should be avoided at all costs

 

I wrote an article about forgiveness that might help which you can read here:

Forgiveness Not for the Other Person

Forgiving people will prevent the need for revenge. It releases you for the chains that hold and bind you, which is not how you were created to be.

Possibly you have been someone who exacted revenge on another for something. Did it help you with whatever triggered the need for revenge?

Did it make things any better for longer than a short while?

Did it make you a better person because of it?

If so, you can start over. That’s the best thing about life, each day is a new day, and we can hit restart and start over. Never be afraid to start over because each time you do you won’t be starting from scratch; you will start from experience. Use that experience and make today better than yesterday.

I wrote an article about starting over that might help, which you can read here:

YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST, BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE

 

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

You Matter, even if you don't think so[1] Revenge verb/Merriam-Webster.com/accessed 11/05/2020/ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/revenge

[2] Sinew noun/Dictionary.com/accessed 11/05/2020/ https://www.dictionary.com/browse/sinew

[3] Jeremy Taylor Quotes/allauthor.com/accessed 11 https://allauthor.com/quotes/75994/ /

In The End All That Matters Is What You Do

Published: 9 November 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
No comments
Categories: Happiness

 

In the End All That Matters Is What You Do

Life has a funny way about it. Sometimes were up, sometimes were down. One thing is sure, we all go through stuff, but in the end all that matters is what you do with it that counts.

 

“A happy person is not a person with a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes”

— Hugh Downs American TV Producer

 

I always say happiness is a choice that leads to an action. External circumstances cannot provide lasting happiness. The shiny new car will bring temporary happiness until your neighbor drives up with a newer one. That new outfit will bring temporary happiness until you see someone else wearing the same outfit. That new toy will bring about temporary happiness until it breaks.

For some, happiness can be very elusive. They just can’t seem to find it, but they keep looking everywhere and everyplace. To no avail. I was like that, always looking for something to make me happy. But it never lasted. Until I figured out the happiness is an internal choice and has nothing to do with external circumstances.

Lasting happiness will never materialize in your life until you stop looking for it. Yes, that is correct, until you stop looking for it. Something will always come up that puts a damper on it. It rains on your wedding day, and you planned it outside. That new car gets a scratch in it, ouch! The new outfit fades, etc. etc., etc.

 

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The only thing that matters in the end is what you do with it.

One way to maintain happiness is to realize that we will all go through stuff in life, that’s guaranteed. The only thing that matters in the end is what you do with it.

I play golf every week with a set of friends for years now. It’s our way of keeping in touch with each other and getting outside to exercise. The beauty of playing golf is typically what you talk about is how well you hit your last shot, or how badly you missed it.

This week we have a 30% chance of rain on the day we are scheduled to play. Out came the message from one guy questioning if we should play or not. He sends out a message the there is a 30% chance of rain so should we take a chance and show up or cancel the game?

Back came a reply from one guy, “yes there is a 30% chance of rain but there is also a 70% chance of sunshine”. In the end all that matters is what you do. We’re showing up to play.

 

 

Far too many times people over think things. They play the what if game over and over and over until they talk themselves out of what they were thinking about doing? While analyzing your options is a smart thing to do before you do something, over analyzing something has the opposite effect that we desire for the outcome. It stops us from ever starting.

We have a choice in life, let it beat you up and make you bitter, or accept it and not allow it to damper your happiness. The choice is ours, and only we have the power to decide what the outcome will be.

So how do we choose to be happy? Im glad you asked.

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• Know that where you have been is not who you are as a person.
  • Know that where you have been is not who you are as a person.

We all make mistakes in life, it’s designed that way. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, failed 10,000 times before his idea worked. When asked how it felt to fail 10,000 times, his response was “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” [1]Had he chosen to believe that his failures made him a failure, we would all be in the dark.

Do not allow past failures (lessons) to stand in the way from you seeking your happiness. Just because it didn’t work the last time does not mean won’t.

 

 

 

  • Live with no regrets

Failure is never final because we will always fail in one way or another throughout our lives. Never regret decisions and or their outcomes. Failures are ways that did not work on your way to finding what does. When life blesses you with a lesson, never regret it.

Regrets prevent our happiness from manifesting in our daily lives. They do the opposite of being happy; they make you bitter. Trust me, bitter does not look good on you.

  • Change your perceptions of how you see things

Edison knew that failure was part of the process and understood that. He knew, just like when he learned to walk that he would fall (fail) before he walked. A lot. Just like you did. By changing the way you look at things, you can drastically improve your life.

Stop looking for an external source for your happiness. Happiness is a choice that leads to and action, that leads to a feeling. Be happy.

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• Forgive yourself for lying to yourself by thinking you could never be happy
  • Forgive yourself for lying to yourself by thinking you could never be happy

Far too many times people make mistakes and hang on to them. We keep them in baggage that we carry around with us from circumstance to circumstance, never letting go. We tell ourselves that we keep them around to remind us not to do something again, but it only reminds us of what won’t work.

By carrying these memories around each day, we focus on them because they are in the front of our mind. What you focus on, you get. By addressing the issue and allowing yourself to be human, forgiving yourself for the issue is easier, and liberating.

I remember a friend who counseled me on an issue that I was holding over my head and could not seem to forgive myself over. His advice was “you make a lousy god because only a god has that much power’. Forgiving yourself is the first step to allowing your happiness back into your life.

 

 

You can read my other article about forgiveness here: FORGIVENESS Is Not for the Other Person

It’s what you do with what life throws at you that matters.

Here is another article about Happiness that will help you: How to Find Happiness in Hard Times

 

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.

[1] Goodreads.com/ Thomas A. Edison > Quotes/accessed 10/24/2020/ https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3091287.Thomas_A_Edison#:~:text=Thomas%20A.%20Edison%20quotes%20Showing%201-30%20of%2057,it%27s%20dressed%20in%20overalls%20and%20looks%20like%20work%E2%80%9D

 

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You Matter, even if you don’t think so by Joseph Binning

With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities

Published: 26 October 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
1 Comment
Categories: Relationships

With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities

 

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With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities

 

Relationships are a normal part of life. We all have them. Might be with your soulmate, might be with your cat, but With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities. that’s because while the human connection to people, places, and things appears to be innate, the ability to form healthy relationships we learn by what we experience in our early developmental years.

We have all heard of the parent who could not outwardly express their love to their children. Never spoke an encouraging word to them. Never consoled them when they were feeling down. Never encouraged them to chase their dreams. Struggled to show public displays of affection. Never said out loud “I Love You”.

So, it’s not surprising that as we grow, we might struggle with relationships. That we might not know that With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities.

Dictionary.com lists the definition of relationship as:

Relationship

noun

  1. a connection, association, or involvement.
  2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
  3. an emotional or other connection between people:
  4. A sexual involvement; affair.[1]

They also list the definition of responsibility as:

Responsibility

noun

  1. the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.
  2. an instance of being responsible:
  3. a particular burden of obligation upon one who is responsible:
  4. a person or thing for which one is responsible:
  5. reliability or dependability, especially in meeting debts or payments.[2]

 

 

“We all have the right to be in a relationship, and a responsibility to protect it,

especially from ourselves”

— Joseph Binning

 

Read my article Five Things the Buddha taught me about Relationships here: Five Things the Buddha taught me about Relationships

In any relationship, whether or not you know it, you have rights.

You Have the Right to Be Safe

When I was younger and less aware, I Loved you because I Needed you. The correct way of being in any relationship is to Need someone because you Love them. When we Love someone because we Need them, we place our well being in their hands. We give them control of how we feel about ourselves. We put ourselves second, which is last.

When we give anyone that much power over us, we allow them to hurt us mentally, and possibly physically, which no person has the right to do to another.

In non-emotional relationships, ie: friendships, employee relationships, associations, or acquaintances we also have the right to be safe and any relationship that does not honor that should not be a part of your life.

You Have the Right to Feel Validated

Validation is one way that we communicate acceptance of ourselves and others. In every relationship you have a voice. You have an opinion that matters because you matter.

When we are in any relationship and our opinion, thoughts, feelings, mental health, or person are not respected, honored, considered, appreciated, or recognized we cannot feel validation. It is just not possible.

When we allow ourselves to be in any relationship where we are not recognized, respected, and validated, we place ourselves in a position to allow another person to develop an opinion of us we believe by allowing it to happen. We also tell ourselves we do not matter, when in fact we do.

Read my article The Most Important Ingredient In Love, Real Love, is Trust here: The Most Important Ingredient In Love, Real Love, is Trust

You Have the Right to Have Your Needs Met

I know what it’s like to put everyone first and place yourself last. Imagine a person standing in front of eight thin poles about shoulder high. One at a time they attempt to spin a dinner plate on each pole to have all eight plates spinning all at once.

Now imaging the plates slowing down and becoming wobbly and falling before all eight plates are spinning and the person scrambling to add another plate on to that pole. They spend the entire time adding new plates, keeping them spinning. By the time they are done, and all the plates are spinning, they all fall and break on the ground and they are exhausted.

This is what it’s like putting everyone first. I tried to make everyone happy, and I was miserable. I felt like I was always putting another plate on a stick and trying to keep it spinning, only to have them all break.

To be healthy, you MUST see to your own needs first. You must be your own best friend. Your own champion. First. If you are in any relationship that does not allow you to meet your own needs first, to take care of you first, including your relationship with your children, it’s your own fault and you must change it.

Read my article Relationship Are Not About Sex ~ They’re About You here: Relationship Are Not About Sex ~ They’re About You

 

“If you are not good to yourself, how do you expect to be good to or for anyone else?”

— Joseph Binning

You Have the Right to Feel Valued

In every relationship you, as a person, have the right to be the person who you are, not what you are. You have the right to be valued as a person. You have the right to be valued for your uniqueness. You have the right to be valued just as you are.

Lack of a positive self-image will prevent us sometimes from leaving a terrible relationship. We think this is all we deserve. That we might not get anything better. That this is the best it can get. You are wrong.

Imagine this: look around you and see the beauty surrounding you wherever you are. The beauty of a sunset. The beauty of a flower growing. The beauty of a mountain reaching up to the heavens as if it were reaching for the stars. The beauty of the full moon on a clear night surrounded by a galaxy of stars.

Know this: even if you were the only person on this Earth, the Universe would have created all of this in all its wonder, just for you. You and just you. If you are that important to your creator how important does that make you? You are the most important person in this Universe.

If you are in any relationship where you do not feel valued as a person, leave.

Read my article The Key to Intimacy in Love, Real Love, is Communication here: The Key to Intimacy in Love, Real Love, is Communication

 

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.,

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.

Joseph Binning

[1] Dictonary.com/Definitions/Relationship/Accessed 10/20/2020/ https://www.dictionary.com/browse/relationship

[2] Dictonary.com/Definitions/Responsibility/Accessed 10/20/2020/ https://www.dictionary.com/browse/responsibility

 

Boundaries: What We Do Not Tolerate Cannot Hurt Us

Published: 19 October 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
1 Comment
Categories: Change

Boundaries: What We Do Not Tolerate Cannot Hurt Us

Boundaries, we all know what they are. As children, they teach us what a boundary is. How far we can go before we get in trouble. Where the line is that we just can’t cross. They have taught us this for our own protection. To keep us safe.

We sometimes even put up with things that annoy us, bother us, concern us, or even scare us and completely ignore the lesson of boundaries. As we grow and learn to spread our wings, we, as humans, forget the lesson of boundaries. We can be more forgiving, possibly even be more tolerant in some situations to be a good person.

According to IPFW/Parkview Student Assistance Program: “A boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin, and the other person ends… The purpose of setting a healthy boundary is to protect and take good care of you” (n. d.).[1]

Boundaries: What We Do Not Tolerate Cannot Hurt Us

— Joseph Binning

When we don’t have a strong sense of self value or identity, it may show that we have not set proper healthy boundaries in our lives. Boundaries, what you will or will not tolerate, protect you. Words lead to actions. Actions lead to results. Results lead to consequences. Sometimes terrible consequences.

Boundaries can be emotional, physical, or mental, depending on the situation we need them for. Boundaries are self-care. You can read more on this here:https://www.josephbinning.com/why-the-message-you-matter-even-if-you-dont-think-so-is-so-important-now/

Setting up healthy boundaries can have many benefits, including helping people decide based on what’s best for them, not just the people or circumstances around them.

So, what are Boundaries: What We Do Not Tolerate Cannot Hurt Us.

Boundaries are the separation you keep between yourself and another person or a particular circumstance for your own wellbeing. When we ignore our own wellbeing over another person’s we are telling ourselves that we don’t matter. We tell ourselves the other person is more important, or worthy, than we are. We send ourselves the wrong message.

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When we ignore our own wellbeing over another person’s we are telling ourselves that we don’t matter.

At work, for example, always keep your personal life separate from your work life. That means when others gossip about someone you might know, politely, but firmly, inform them you do not wish to hear such things. Will this cause you tension with co-workers, possibly.

In the workplace, people forget that we should always strive to set a professional standard. These things backfire, especially when someone finds out from someone else that someone has been gossiping about them and you are in the middle of it. If this happens you will have wished, you would have set a boundary.

In a relationship, be it friendship or romantic, always set boundaries of what you will not accept.
If for example you do not appreciate being spoken to in a loud voice, politely, yet firmly, inform the other party that that is not acceptable with you and be willing to draw a line in the sand on the issue.

You can read more on this here:https://www.josephbinning.com/relationships%e2%9c%b5are-not-about-sex-theyre-about-you/

 

People will not respect you until they see what it is you respect.

 — Joseph Binning

People will not respect you until they see what it is you respect, especially if it’s you that you respect. By communicating your boundaries to the other person, you will prevent resentment and or possibly anger from arising in either of you.

Stand firm in your boundaries. When you set a boundary with someone you do not need to over-explain the reason why you set it with them. Briefly, say why it is not acceptable to you and expect them to honor it. By drawing a line in the sand and saying to the other person “you can go this far before we have a problem” you are communicating your boundaries. This is Boundaries: What We Do Not Tolerate Cannot Hurt Us.

If they know where the line is that they cannot cross with you, they cannot hurt you. It’s when we fudge the line, when we erase it and draw another trying to be “flexible” that we lose sight of why we set the boundaries. We dishonor ourselves and the peace we deserve in our lives when we do not honor our boundaries. With all boundary violations must come a consequence if we are to honor ourselves.

 

“When one person is in control of another, love cannot grow deeply and fully, as there is no freedom” (Cloud & Townsend, 2002).[2]

 

As parents, we set boundaries for our children. It’s for their protection. “No Johnny, you can’t play catch on the freeway”. Sounds silly saying it, but it’s a good example of a healthy boundary. Johnny really wants to play catch, but you as a parent do not want to see the consequences of what might happen should a car speeding should hit him.

For the same reason we need to set similar boundaries for ourselves, to prevent the consequences of what might happen if there were no boundary set. When we set boundaries for ourselves, we become more secure. Secure that we are honoring ourselves, possibly for the first time in our lives, because we matter. Because we will not tolerate what we do not wish to have manifest in our lives.

“What we don’t tolerate, cannot manifest in our lives.”

— Joseph Binning

Boundaries work both ways. We need to set personal boundaries within our own lives to maintain a level of peace within ourselves. Knowing we re-think a boundary, or re-shape it, or just plain old forget it entirely negatively affects our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth. When we do not honor ourselves, first, we cannot be honorable or be worth honoring by others.

 

In my recently published book titled You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here  Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so I discuss Boundaries: What We Do Not Tolerate Cannot Hurt Us.

 

If you change the way you look at things, you will change the way you see things.

— Joseph Binning

 

 

 

You can read more about change and why you need to do it here:https://www.josephbinning.com/change%e2%9c%b5why-its-necessary-and-how-to-do-it-well-2/

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If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.

 

Joseph Binning

[1] Nelson, D. (2016, December 8). Self-Care 101: Setting Healthy Boundaries. Retrieved from http://www.dananelsoncounseling.com/blog/self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/

[2] Cloud, H., Townsend, J. (2002). Boundaries in Marriage. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain.

Published: 15 October 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
No comments
Categories: Happiness

If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain.

Into every life rain will fall, of that it guarantees us. Some will have sprinkles; some will have torrential rain. In either case, If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain. To endure the storm, we must remember that it will eventually pass. Nothing will last forever in your life. Except the memory of the rainbow at the end.

It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.

Julius Caesar[1]

Pain is a reminder to us we are alive. That we can still feel. That there is still blood flowing through our veins. It tells us something went wrong. It tells us something did not work. It is our greatest enemy, yet it is our greatest teacher.

When we first learned to walk, we fell. A lot. I remember watching my son fall for the first time when he discovered that he had the ability to stand on his wobbly legs. He hung onto the coffee table, pulled himself up, turned around and looked at me, and fell. Oh, how he cried.

It hurt trying something and failing. With an assuring tone in my voice and an encouraging gesture, he tried again. And fell again. Until he didn’t. each time he cried less. Each time he learned that with each attempt he learned something new. A different way to hang on, a different way to place his feet, a different way to stand. And then he stood. Proudly. As if he had accomplished the greatest feat known to man.

A hero is an ordinary individual

who finds the strength to persevere

and endure despite overwhelming obstacles.

– Christopher Reeve[2]

 

In those first steps, life taught my son that If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain. We forget that sometimes. It’s hard to see hope sometimes when all you can think about is surviving. It’s hard to see hope sometimes when all you can think about is the pain. It’s hard to see hope sometimes when all you can think about is……… Fill in the blank.

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It’s hard to see hope sometimes when all you can think about is surviving.

In my recently published book titled You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here  Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so I discuss If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain.

I discuss how where you are now is not based on where you have been. It’s where you choose to be now. Right now, you feel pain. Pain from a choice or decision either you made, or someone else made for you. In your pain, it’s easy to play the blame game and beat yourself up. If only I had not…… If only I did not…… If only.

Life doom’s those who do not study history to repeat it, however studying the past does not mean you park there for any length of time. You visit. You do not move in and camp on the couch. You have your own place to be and it is not in the past.

Choose to be in the present, not in the past. Read my article Avoiding the Hole here:https://www.josephbinning.com/avoiding-the-hole/

 

 

If you find something wrong with your life, fix it.

— Joseph Binning

 

In your pain, it is easy to feel like a failure. Peoples biggest fear, in every age group, is either failure, or a direct result of the feeling of failure.[3] Yet every time you failed when you learned how to stand up made you smarter, stronger, and better.

In my chapter titled Regrets: Why They Are Harmful, I go over how we should live a life with no regrets. Living a life with no regrets has great responsibility attached to it. To live a life of no regrets means that you must contemplate every action you make in your life BEFORE you commit it. You can read more about Regrets here:https://www.josephbinning.com/regrets%e2%9c%b5why-theyre-harmful/

We, as people, make rash decisions without thinking of the potential consequences until after we have decided. This is a recipe for disaster. Think first, act second. Ask yourself if your action will serve your highest good. If the answer is no, don’t do it.

If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain means that you must change your perceptions of how you look at things.

 

If you change the way you look at things, you will change the way you see things.

— Joseph Binning

 

When you experienced the first pain of falling as you learned to walk you did not stop, you kept going. From it you learned. You became better. Lost money can be re-made. We can find love again. Just because your situation has brought you pain does not mean that it will not end. It will, in the end, make you smarter, stronger, and better.

This too shall end.

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Just because your situation has brought you pain does not mean that it will not end. It will, in the end, make you smarter, stronger, and better.

 

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

 

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.

[1] Top 10 Endure Quotes/BrainyQoute.com/accessed 10/07/2020/ https://www.brainyquote.com/lists/topics/top-10-endure-quotes#:~:text=Top%2010%20Endure%20Quotes%201%20I%20will%20love,of%20more%20than%20you%20know.%20More%20items…%20

[2] Quotes/inspirational.com/accessed 10/05/2020/ https:// http://www.quotes-inspirational.com/quotes/endure/

[3] 70 People Reveal Their Deepest Fears/odyssey.com/accessed 10/07/2020/ https://www.theodysseyonline.com/70-people-reveal-their-deepest-fears