The Type Of Love You Can Give Is Determined by The Type Of Love You Give Yourself

The Type Of Love You Can Give Is Determined by The Type Of Love You Give Yourself


We were all born to  Love. It’s our destiny to give ourselves to another. To be so connected with each other, that where we begin and the other stops is hard to determine. But The Type Of Love You Can Give Is Determined by The Type Of Love You Give Yourself.


You cannot give that which you do not have to another. So, in order to fully Love another, you must fully Love yourself first.


Growing up for me was hard. I didn’t feel Loved. I didn’t feel needed. I didn’t feel wanted. Fact is, I was abandoned at a very vulnerable age. So, as I grew older, I needed to be Loved. I needed someone to Love me. This differs from needing someone because you Love them.


When you need to be Loved you will allow yourself to endure things which you shouldn’t. Abusive relationships, conditional or one-way relationships, Loveless relationships, the list goes on and on.


You identify yourself with the relationship because you have no self-identity. You just don’t know who you are as a person or as an individual. There is only We because you don’t see any value in Me.


So, you base your self-esteem on the We of the relationship. You lean on the other person just a little more than you should, and they eventually see you as weak, which you are.


You surrender your power over yourself to them and if they are not the right person for you, which they usually are not, they can use you at their will. Their opinion of you is what you believe to be true since you have such a low opinion of yourself.


You give them the power to destroy your entire day by merely saying mean, nasty, or negative things about you to you and you choose to believe it. Even though the words might not be true.


I have a saying that I use often. In order to be Loved, you must be Lovable. And in order to be Loveable, you must Love yourself first.


Self-Love is more important than just Love, because if you have no reference of what is good for you, how can you provide that which is good for someone else.


The Love You Can Give Is Determined by The Love You Give Yourself
Self-Love is more important than just Love


So, what is Self-Love?


  • Self-Love is being your own best friend and not needing any other.


  • Self-Love is taking care of your own needs first, then another’s.


  • Self-Love is not settling for less than you deserve, ever.


  • Self-Love is setting healthy boundaries for yourself and others.


  • Self-Love is allowing yourself to not be perfect, simply perfect for you.


  • Self-Love is only allowing healthy relationships to enter and stay in your life.


  • Self-Love is never settling for a life of mediocrity, only the excellence you deserve.


  • Self-Love is forgiving yourself for your mistakes and knowing the mistakes only make you wiser.


  • Self-Love is always being thankful for everything, knowing you deserve the best.



“The heart that gives thanks is happy, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time.”

— Douglas Wood


The Love You Can Give Is Determined by The Love You Give Yourself
 Know that You Matter

So how do we live a life of Self-Love?

  • Know that You Matter. You have a voice and it deserves to be listened to, both by you and others.
  • Know that sometimes doors close on purpose. Life will sometimes close a door and yet open a window. Look for the window, then see what it’s showing you.
  • Don’t pretend to be okay when you are not. Be honest with yourself and others, always.
  • Live in a state of appreciation for yourself. Realize there is only one of you. You are unique on purpose.
  • Know that life was designed not to be a spectator sport. Life requires participation, so jump in.
  • Realize that nothing grows in your comfort zone, it only stays stagnant. Step outside of it and see what the world has in store for you.
  • Live intentionally. Stop reacting to life and be proactive. With purpose and on purpose.

Living a life of Self-Love will allow you to give yourself permission to receive what you want out of life. Getting what you want may take longer with Self-Love, but it will be worth the wait.


Life is a journey and you are the captain, you are in charge. You have the power to take it wherever you want and the ability to make it avoid wherever you don’t want to go. Set your course wisely and always remember The Type Of Love You Can Give Is Determined by The Type Of Love You Give Yourself.




If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

You Matter, even if you don't think so by Joseph Binning
You Matter, even if you don’t think so by Joseph Binning