Suicide Prevention Handbook

Approximately 800,000 people die by suicide every year, one person dies every 40 seconds. The World Health Organization’s (WHO) first report on suicide prevention, Preventing Suicide: A Global Imperative, states that suicide is a global phenomenon occurring in all regions of the world. Suicide was the second leading cause of death among the 15-29 age group globally in 2016. But, behind these alarming numbers, remember that suicide is preventable! This article will hopefully help you and the family and friends around you recognize the signs of suicide and the methods that can help.

Suicide Prevention Handbook

Image Source: Sandaki.com

 

What you need to know about suicide

  • Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide every year.

 

  • The number of attempted suicides is many times greater than the number of deaths by suicide each year.

 

  • Every year more men than women die by suicide. In wealthy countries, men die by suicide three times as often as women, and men aged 50 and older are more vulnerable.

 

  • In low- and middle-income countries, suicide rates are higher among young adults and older women than among their counterparts in high-income countries, and women over age 70 are more than twice as likely to die by suicide as women aged 15-29.

 

  • In 2016, low- and middle-income countries accounted for over 79% of global suicides.

 

 

Misunderstandings about suicide

1. If I ask someone around me if they have any suicidal thoughts, will it trigger them to commit suicide?

This is a very important issue and one of the biggest misconceptions the public has about suicide prevention. If you don’t have time to read this article all the way through, just remember one thing: no research proves that discussing suicide will trigger suicide. Asking the person if they have suicidal thoughts and discussing them further is one of the best things you can do to prevent suicide.

 

2. Some people say that suicide is just lip service and that they will not actually commit suicide.

Most people who commit suicide have hinted to a friend or loved one that they are going to kill themselves before they do so. So don’t take any sign of suicide lightly. Whether it sounds like a joke or a casual remark, it’s a sign to ask for help.

 

3. Suicide is a sign of cowardice and selfishness, lack of respect for life, and lack of consideration for family members.

Such an idea is a misconception about suicide at a societal level. Different people have different reasons for committing suicide, but in most cases, they can no longer bear the pain of life and believe that suicide is the only way to stop hurting at the moment.

 

The process of suicide torments even the most desperate and depressed people, whether to choose life or death? Sometimes it’s a matter of thought, and this tangled process provides the window for intervention. Who has not experienced a certain stage of darkness and helplessness in their lives?

 

4. People who want to commit suicide cannot be stopped?

An article, Why must we stop people who want to commit suicide, trended on social media. Written by a netizen who once tried to commit suicide and fortunately was prevented by his brother, who came home early.

 

She is 5’7” tall, has been practicing tennis for ten years, is a national-level athlete, and has a privileged and smooth life. Unfortunately, a car accident killed her boyfriend and left her with a lifelong disability in her left arm (she is left-handed), so she had to practice again to dress and eat. She was so despondent that she thought of suicide.

 

“The moment I drank the pesticide, I regretted it, and luckily, my brother, who had originally planned to take the train, flew home early.”

 

“When you want to kill yourself, no matter what way you use, at the moment you put it into action, you will regret it. It’s at that moment you understand we can solve any problem, but by then it is too late.” She uses her personal experience to tell people they must stop suicide because the moment they commit suicide, they will all regret it.

 

How to identify suicide signals

As we mentioned in this article, in most cases, a person who plans to commit suicide will release suicide signals before committing suicide. Then, how to recognize these suicide signals also becomes the most important step in suicide prevention.

We have summarized the following ten signs of suicide from the American Psychological Association and the Help Guide organization.

 

  1. Verbal or written expressions of intent to commit suicide. For example, I wish I had never been born; I don’t want to live; I want to disappear; I want to jump from some high place, etc.

 

  1. Collect or think about suicide tools, such as guns, pills, knives, etc.

 

  1. A sudden personality change: for example, a calm personality suddenly becomes tyrannical, a lively one suddenly becomes silent, etc.

 

  1. Stay away from family and friends and close themselves off.

 

  1. Start writing their last wishes, give away their precious things, and make other arrangements for their family.

 

  1. Increased self-injurious behavior. Although self-harm is not the same as suicide, increased self-harm behaviors, such as car racing, excessive alcohol consumption, and reckless and impulsive behavior without regard to risk, are sometimes signs of suicide.

 

  1. Suddenly becoming unusually calm. A sudden calm after a long period of depression is sometimes a final decision to commit suicide after already struggling.

 

  1. Changes in diet and sleep.

 

  1. A sense of helplessness and lack of hope for the future are one of the biggest signs of suicide.

 

  1. Increased loneliness on important holidays or anniversaries (death anniversary of a loved one, etc.). For example, in the United States, major holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas increase loneliness, which may trigger suicide.

 

How to communicate with suicidal people?

Ideally, it is most effective and reliable to seek professional help if you are suicidal. Some studies show that 70% of suicides occur at home. What is the first step we can take as friends or family members?

 

A reader who has experienced suicidal tendencies with a close friend or family member may have wondered: What if my judgment is wrong? Maybe I’m overthinking it and he or she may not be trying to kill himself or herself? What if he or she is angry with me if I ask? These are, of course, all very natural tangles and worries.

 

However, the most important rule of suicide intervention is the sooner, the better! You need to keep in mind that your concern and questioning will not lead to suicide, but is a valuable opportunity for you to show your concern and help the person. We suggest you might begin your inquiry by asking the following questions:

 

“I’ve been concerned about you lately. Are you okay?”

 

“You seem to have changed a bit lately, and I wanted to ask you how you are doing?”

 

“You don’t look much like yourself. Can we talk?”

 

Next, you can ask further questions like this:

 

“When did you first notice these changes in yourself?”

 

“Can you let me help you? Tell me, what do you need my help with?”

 

Some language has proven to be comforting to suicidal friends, for example:

 

“I’ll be there when you need me. You’re not alone!”

 

“I may not fully understand what you’re going through. But I care about you, and I want to help you!”

 

We recommend you listen more and remember that even if you have experienced no training in counseling, your concern for a person is the most helpful thing you can do. We do not recommend doing the following things:

 

  • Arguing with a suicidal person.

 

  • Not to act too surprised. Such an attitude may prevent the person from sharing further.

 

  • Not rushing to help with specific problems.

 

We can prevent suicide. Scientific knowledge and the right attitude are important forces in preventing suicide.

 

Author’s Bio: My name is Carl Lee, and I have a Master’s degree in Psychology. I have been working in the mental health field since I graduated. Our company website, www.sandaki.com, is also a platform for people to share their stories about depression and anxiety.

This article was published with the permission and cooperation of JosephBinning.com.

Carl Lee is a guest contributor to JosephBining.com.

Because we strongly believe that all life matters and is important we thought it appropriate to share this important message.

 

If It’s Broken, Fix It

We live in a world now where when something breaks; we throw it away. It becomes disposable to us, including relationships. Being in a relationship that feels broken can make you feel stuck, but the Love you share with another is worth fixing.

As someone who has had many relationships that did not work, I am an expert on what does not work in a relationship. Here are some helpful suggestions that I hope will help you.

 

Fix it BEFORE it is Broken

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Fix it BEFORE it is Broken

Ultimately, the best time to fix something before it’s broken. There is the story that was shared with me by a mentor, of which I have had many, of two hurt people make eye contact with each other from across the room and have a relationship. What follows is no surprise, more hurt.

The best fix in any relationship starts with yourself. Take whatever amount of time you need to recover from the sadness and hurt for any past relationships which varies from person to person according to Janet Zinn, LCSW, a New York City–based couple’s therapist before you start another relationship..

“It’s better to get through the breakup and learn what you can from the previous relationship, so you’ve grown,” Zinn says. Once you’ve figured out a lesson or two — what you want in your next relationship, what you don’t, etc. — go ahead and get back out there.[1]

The second-best piece of advice is to be more selective in who you choose to be with. Thinking rationally can be exceedingly difficult when the emotional mind is in charge. The emotional mind is that section of the mind that takes over our decision-making capabilities during certain circumstances. This is an example of the two hurt people making eye contact scenario I mentioned earlier.

These scenarios may carry an emotional weight with them that triggers various responses: dread, anger, sadness, anxiety, etc. For this reason, it’s difficult to maintain an impartial, reasonable mindset when in this state.[2]

The emotional mind will tell you everything is fine, and you will want to listen to it, while the rational mind will tell you that something is wrong.

The Rational Mind bases its decisions on facts, evidence, and what worked in the past. These activities are more likely to foster a straightforward, logical kind of thinking.[3]

We cannot be certain that we won’t be able to control our emotional mind when the time comes, so the best policy is to know what you want before you need it and to seek that which you desire BEFORE you start.

 

“If you don’t like something in your life-Fix it”

— Joseph Binning

 

Here are some things to look for in the person you want to give your heart to.

They MUST be able to Communicate with and to You

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They MUST be able to Communicate with and to You

Communication is possibly the most important key to a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Communicating is more than good morning and how was your day. Communication is “im feeling bad because….” And being able to complete the sentence without someone getting defensive. To foster good communication, you must follow a few simple rules.

  1. Always be truthful. Don’t hide how you feel. Not wanting conflict is a terrible reason to keep things bottled up inside of you. Being honest with yourself and your partner is the best way to be true to your truth, and to them. It’s not fair, or wise, to make someone guess what’s wrong.

 

  1. Don’t blast them with the truth. Your truth might differ from their truth, so keep that in mind. A person who says the truth in a way that no one will hear is just a person talking to themselves.

 

“A person who says the truth in a way that no one will hear is just a person talking to themselves.”

— Joseph Binning

 

  1. Speak honestly, but always with the other person’s best interest in mind. Discussing tough issues can be hard enough. Don’t just tell what’s on your mind so you can make yourself feel better. Relationships die from a thousand cuts, so wield your sword carefully.

Read my article The Key to Intimacy in Love, Real Love, Is Communication here: Communication

 

There MUST be Balance in any Relationship

If It’s Broken, Fix ItWhen two people join together, there is now twice as much work required each day. While the expression “many hands make light work” is appropriate in this situation, it doesn’t always translate into actual life. Sometimes it can mean someone now has more work to do each day than before the relationship started and can leave to resentment.

Here are some ground rules to follow for best results:

  1. Make an agreement that we will not discuss any decision that only effects the individual, but we must discuss any decision that directly effects the couple first. Don’t blindside your partner on anything.
  2. Discuss the workload BEFORE you start. There is no written rule that only one person must clean or do laundry. Common chores are a joint responsibility. Discuss this in a fair and balanced way. Overloading one person is a sure way of causing resentment.
  3. Discuss your financial responsibilities and commitments weekly. Carve out a day each week to discuss what you owe, who you owe, and how you plan to pay for it. Plan for emergencies and long-term goals. Finance is NOT the responsibility of only one person and doing so leads to resentment and doubt.
  4. Take turns setting up date night. When only one person is responsible to arrange everything, it leaves room for resentment and feelings of nonappreciation. Remember, date night is essential, especially after kids.
  5. Take care of yourself, first. Keeping your own identity is the best way of keeping yourself balanced. Taking care of what you need for you, ensures that resentment for never being able to do what you need to do for you will ever come up. Carve out YOU time and honor it.

Read my article RELATIONSHIPS-Are Not About Sex ~ They’re About You here: RELATIONSHIPS

You MUST Maintain your Connection to Each Other

If It’s Broken, Fix ItRelationships have a way of becoming “comfortable”. This is a sign that they are getting stagnant and could implode before your eyes. Maintain you Connection to each other is remembering the Why in why you are together. The reason you are together.

Getting “comfortable” in a relationship can lead to a lack of putting in the effort and phoning it in. This can lead to resentment from your partner, which if left unchecked can lead to the end of the relationship.

Here are some ground rules to follow for best results:

 

  1. Never assume. People appreciate being asked their opinion. It shows them you value it and them. The easiest way to start a fight is to assume you know how someone feels or thinks about any subject. Checking in shows you care, so check in.
  2. Tell your partner how you feel about them every day. As people, we need to hear that we are loved. Don’t assume that actions dictate to another person you love them. We NEED to hear it. It feeds our souls so say it but mean it.
  3. Always think of the other person and how your actions will affect them BEFORE it happens. The easiest way to end a relationship is to think about you and only you. The “what about me” attitude is selfish. You will get what you give.
  4. Protect them, especially from yourself. We can be our own worst enemies in a relationship, its part of being human. Be Aware of that. If you have the choice of being kind or right, be kind.

Read my article THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN LOVE, REAL LOVE, IS TRUST here: THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT IN LOVE

 

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.

[1]

13 Experts Reveal The Best Time To Date After A Breakup/ Bibi Deitz/Bustle.com/accessed 10/27/2020/ https://www.bustle.com/life/178909-when-is-the-best-time-to-date-after-a-breakup-13-experts-weigh-in#:~:text=Many%20times%2C%20people%20are%20ready%20to%20start%20seriously,White%2C%20an%20author%20and%20relationship%20expert%2C%20tells%20Bustle.

[2] THE 3 MINDS: EMOTIONAL, RATIONAL, AND WISE/accessed 10/27/2020/ https://www.hellopeacefulmind.com/the-3-minds-emotional-rational-and-wise/#:~:text=%20There%20are%20many%20examples%20in%20which%20the,4%20Certain%20people%2C%20places%2C%20or%20events%20More%20

[3] THE 3 MINDS: EMOTIONAL, RATIONAL, AND WISE/accessed 10/27/2020/ https://www.hellopeacefulmind.com/the-3-minds-emotional-rational-and-wise/#:~:text=%20There%20are%20many%20examples%20in%20which%20the,4%20Certain%20people%2C%20places%2C%20or%20events%20More%20

With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities

 

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With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities

 

Relationships are a normal part of life. We all have them. Might be with your soulmate, might be with your cat, but With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities. that’s because while the human connection to people, places, and things appears to be innate, the ability to form healthy relationships we learn by what we experience in our early developmental years.

We have all heard of the parent who could not outwardly express their love to their children. Never spoke an encouraging word to them. Never consoled them when they were feeling down. Never encouraged them to chase their dreams. Struggled to show public displays of affection. Never said out loud “I Love You”.

So, it’s not surprising that as we grow, we might struggle with relationships. That we might not know that With Every Relationship Comes Rights, And Responsibilities.

Dictionary.com lists the definition of relationship as:

Relationship

noun

  1. a connection, association, or involvement.
  2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
  3. an emotional or other connection between people:
  4. A sexual involvement; affair.[1]

They also list the definition of responsibility as:

Responsibility

noun

  1. the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.
  2. an instance of being responsible:
  3. a particular burden of obligation upon one who is responsible:
  4. a person or thing for which one is responsible:
  5. reliability or dependability, especially in meeting debts or payments.[2]

 

 

“We all have the right to be in a relationship, and a responsibility to protect it,

especially from ourselves”

— Joseph Binning

 

Read my article Five Things the Buddha taught me about Relationships here: Five Things the Buddha taught me about Relationships

In any relationship, whether or not you know it, you have rights.

You Have the Right to Be Safe

When I was younger and less aware, I Loved you because I Needed you. The correct way of being in any relationship is to Need someone because you Love them. When we Love someone because we Need them, we place our well being in their hands. We give them control of how we feel about ourselves. We put ourselves second, which is last.

When we give anyone that much power over us, we allow them to hurt us mentally, and possibly physically, which no person has the right to do to another.

In non-emotional relationships, ie: friendships, employee relationships, associations, or acquaintances we also have the right to be safe and any relationship that does not honor that should not be a part of your life.

You Have the Right to Feel Validated

Validation is one way that we communicate acceptance of ourselves and others. In every relationship you have a voice. You have an opinion that matters because you matter.

When we are in any relationship and our opinion, thoughts, feelings, mental health, or person are not respected, honored, considered, appreciated, or recognized we cannot feel validation. It is just not possible.

When we allow ourselves to be in any relationship where we are not recognized, respected, and validated, we place ourselves in a position to allow another person to develop an opinion of us we believe by allowing it to happen. We also tell ourselves we do not matter, when in fact we do.

Read my article The Most Important Ingredient In Love, Real Love, is Trust here: The Most Important Ingredient In Love, Real Love, is Trust

You Have the Right to Have Your Needs Met

I know what it’s like to put everyone first and place yourself last. Imagine a person standing in front of eight thin poles about shoulder high. One at a time they attempt to spin a dinner plate on each pole to have all eight plates spinning all at once.

Now imaging the plates slowing down and becoming wobbly and falling before all eight plates are spinning and the person scrambling to add another plate on to that pole. They spend the entire time adding new plates, keeping them spinning. By the time they are done, and all the plates are spinning, they all fall and break on the ground and they are exhausted.

This is what it’s like putting everyone first. I tried to make everyone happy, and I was miserable. I felt like I was always putting another plate on a stick and trying to keep it spinning, only to have them all break.

To be healthy, you MUST see to your own needs first. You must be your own best friend. Your own champion. First. If you are in any relationship that does not allow you to meet your own needs first, to take care of you first, including your relationship with your children, it’s your own fault and you must change it.

Read my article Relationship Are Not About Sex ~ They’re About You here: Relationship Are Not About Sex ~ They’re About You

 

“If you are not good to yourself, how do you expect to be good to or for anyone else?”

— Joseph Binning

You Have the Right to Feel Valued

In every relationship you, as a person, have the right to be the person who you are, not what you are. You have the right to be valued as a person. You have the right to be valued for your uniqueness. You have the right to be valued just as you are.

Lack of a positive self-image will prevent us sometimes from leaving a terrible relationship. We think this is all we deserve. That we might not get anything better. That this is the best it can get. You are wrong.

Imagine this: look around you and see the beauty surrounding you wherever you are. The beauty of a sunset. The beauty of a flower growing. The beauty of a mountain reaching up to the heavens as if it were reaching for the stars. The beauty of the full moon on a clear night surrounded by a galaxy of stars.

Know this: even if you were the only person on this Earth, the Universe would have created all of this in all its wonder, just for you. You and just you. If you are that important to your creator how important does that make you? You are the most important person in this Universe.

If you are in any relationship where you do not feel valued as a person, leave.

Read my article The Key to Intimacy in Love, Real Love, is Communication here: The Key to Intimacy in Love, Real Love, is Communication

 

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.,

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.

Joseph Binning

[1] Dictonary.com/Definitions/Relationship/Accessed 10/20/2020/ https://www.dictionary.com/browse/relationship

[2] Dictonary.com/Definitions/Responsibility/Accessed 10/20/2020/ https://www.dictionary.com/browse/responsibility