The world is constantly changing. It moves at a rapid pace, and if you do not keep up, it leaves us behind. Understanding it is the hardest thing you will ever do. It is easy to think you don’t matter, that you have no voice, no say in things. I’m here to tell you, you are wrong. That You do Matter. Here’s why:
Like preparing for a mega-marathon, it requires more than just knowledge. You need the right equipment, and you need to know how to take care of that equipment to serve you and in case of emergency. You need the right people around you, people who are knowledgeable and willing to train you. And you need to be ready and willing to train, learn, and change. You can only learn when you are willing and ready. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Most of all, you need a reason to get to the finish line without quitting—a reason strong enough to quiet the voices in your head that make you want to give in.
In this vast world that moves so fast, we struggle to be relevant, influential, important, respected, loved, and—sometimes—just to be seen. I am the voice who shouts, “You Matter!” because you do, more than you might know. Sometimes you just need a little help to point you in the right direction.
The Tao Te Ching says, “When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be” (emphasis added). I encourage you to be open to new ideas as you read this. I encourage you to let go of your past self and start anew.
I have a saying: “If you don’t like something, change it.” And remember, you are worth every ounce of effort and concentration that you put into yourself because You matter, even if you do not think so.
The real voyage of discovery consists not of seeking new landscapes, but in having fresh eyes.
—Marcel Proust
You are born. You grow. You mature. You become an adult. You go to work. You may have children. You may have grandchildren. You may grow old. You may retire, or you may work until you die. You die. Is that about right?
You are not dead, or you would not be reading this. Yet, how alive are you?
It is so easy to settle in, follow the rules, pay your dues, and then wait for the end in the process of this thing called life—have you become numb? Or maybe you have not noticed. When you were young, you probably had dreams and visions, and maybe a few lofty goals. If you were like most, though, as you grew into adulthood, you abandoned your dreams and lofty goals one by one. Did you do that? Or did circumstances dictate your path? Do you have a suspicion, even a tiny one, that you might have missed out on an original life?
Do people have a hard time “seeing” who you really are? Do you secretly feel as if no one knows the real you or gets who you are deep inside? Is that because you have not let them? Have you created and nourished a wonderful sense of yourself? Or have you camouflaged yourself with habits, behaviors, compromises, possessions, money, or fear- or ego-driven behaviors? Do you sometimes feel that you do not really know who you are?
Following your death, you will have a tombstone or marker, on which will appear your name, a concise epitaph written by someone, and the date of your birth and death separated by a dash. The dash between your birth and death stands for your life. The dash stands for who you were and what others will remember you for. The dash symbolizes your entire life, the mark you left on people and this world, the meaning of your existence.
Life is not merely being alive, but being well
—Marcus Valerius Latin poet/author
Be Well
If I were to ask you what your dash will stand for, beyond the loving words of your immediate family, what would you say? What significant event, purpose, effect, or deed would your lasting impression on the world represent? If you were on trial in a court of law and needed to justify your right to stay in your chosen country of residence by providing evidence of your good deeds and contributions, would you have enough evidence? Or would we find you lacking? What significance or purpose is there to your being on this earth?
You probably have a family and love your family that you love. But your family is not why you are here. Bearing children is the minimum requirement for ensuring the future existence of our species. It is not what keeps you from wondering if this is all there is, or if there is some deeper meaning in your life. Do you sometimes feel that you do not really know why you are here?
When you settled into your current job, relationship, home, marriage, routine, or lifestyle, did you gain weight? Over 60 percent of couples gain at least thirty pounds after settling into marriage and family life. Did you reason that your weight gain was from bearing children, the stress of work, the pressure of a mortgage, two car payments, dental bills, or a health condition?
Were you designed for a greater life, but are too busy to have one? Do you think greatness is only for the talented, the chosen, the lucky few? Do you sometimes wonder what if? What if I had gone to school instead of getting pregnant? What if I had married that girl? What if I had moved to that other state? What if I had started a business? What if I had traveled more before settling down? What if I had never had kids? What if I had stayed in school instead of dropping out?
If you were to introduce yourself to me for the first time, you would likely tell me your name, your age, your status in your family, the number of children you have and their ages and genders, the city you live in, something about your pets or hobbies, and what you do for a living.
News flash! None of these are who you are!
Each one of us must find his peace from within, and peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
—Mahatma Gandhi leader of the Indian Independence Movement
Identifying yourself with your age, what you do for a living, or with the members of your family is a response that comes from a lack of knowing yourself. Until you know who and what you are, and why you are here, the dash on your gravestone will have no meaning beyond your job and your family status and sentiments. Your dash needs to stand for something.
So, who are you? Why are you here? Why now? Why this place? What benefit to humanity do you bring to the table and how will the world be a better place because you are in it?
Say out loud with me right now: “humanity.” Like the ripple effect of a stone skipping across a pond, it means we design the meaning of our life to create multiple waves of momentum, radiating outward from your life and into our world, making lasting change for the betterment of humanity. Unless you have no clue why you are here. Don’t feel bad. Most people have no clue either.
In the world, we place much emphasis on our station in life. What we have or possess. Where we live, what we drive, what we wear, who we associate with, where we go. The list goes on and on. It’s easy to think because we have not that we don’t matter. That our lives are insignificant. That we have wasted space. That we don’t count.
Some will or have trained you to believe that life is fair. They are wrong; life is not fair. Why would we have sickness and death? Why do we have floods? Famine? Earthquakes? If they meant it to be fair, we would have none of these. But we do.
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
—Muhammad Ali Heavy Weight Champion
Take Risks
When you first learned how to walk, do you remember falling? Do you remember how many times you fell? Most likely not. What you do possibly remember was the feeling of standing strong with a newfound independence, a world opened to alternative possibilities. That was not the teaching moment. It was when you got back up. When you came close to something stable, leaned into it, and pulled yourself up. That was life teaching you how you looked at it.
The teaching moment is in the moment of pulling yourself up, time and time again, until you get what you decided on, not because you deserved it, because you earned it. In life, we deserve nothing. It does not promise us anything. Everything we receive is a gift and we need to look at it that way. When you appreciate everything in your world, it becomes beautiful.
Joy happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.
—Marianne Williamson, author/ lecturer
feel the Joy
Too many of you feel as if you are insignificant today. That you don’t matter. You have no voice that anyone listens to and possibly you don’t deserve to one. Some of you shout, possibly out of frustration, demanding to be heard. Some of you just fade into the background and don’t get back up.
Some of you feel you are not being seen. That you are not being noticed in life. That it is passing you by. You attract attention to yourself, shouting to the world “Look at me!”.
Some of you don’t feel respected and demand it from the world around you, yet the actions taken to gain respect are not respectful to others. I world will naturally give respect when you are respectful to others.
Here’s the truth. You Matter, even if you don’t think so. You Matter ESPECIALY if you don’t think so.
Take a moment and look at any sunrise. Watch as the sun gently and faithfully rises each morning. Watch as colors slowly engulf the sky, putting on a heavenly light show for you.
Watch as it sets below the horizon at night. Watch as it sets, and the moon rises. Notice the stars as they dance for you, just for you.
Notice the hummingbird as it hovers, passing pollen from place to place so life may grow.
Listen to the wind as it gently brushes against your ears, pushing the leaves from here to there.
Watch the power of the ocean as the waves crash into the shores forever, keeping it in motion.
Know that the sunrise and sunset dictate the tides and seasons perfectly and with the sole purpose to sustain you.
Now know this. Your creator, whoever you worship, believe in, pray to, meditate to, give an offering to, or hold deep in your heart, would still have created this, even if you were the only person on this planet. That’s how valuable you are. The trees, the mountains, the oceans, the deserts, all of it. Just for you.
The lack of or approval of others, the lack of or acceptance of others, the lack of or respect of others, can never change that fact. When you feel alone, when you feel oppressed, when you do not feel valued, when you do not feel seen or heard, remember that fact. You Matter! You Matter to me. You Matter to us as a community. You Matter to the world. This world would not be the same without you. We need you, all of us, and we need each other, every moment of every day of every week of every month of every year.
It’s when we forget that there is only one race, humanity, that we feel alone. When we forget, we are all in this together and you are not alone. You are NOT broken; you are NOT a mistake. We cannot do this without you. You are an intricate piece of the puzzle of life we are all a part of the puzzle is incomplete without you.
That’s why I say and believe You Matter, even if you don’t think so.
When you are grateful, fear disappears, and abundance appears.
— Tony Robbins
Abundant: “present in great quantity; more than adequate; over sufficient.”
You hear much talk about abundance these days, including the lack of it. We all want it, but most of us do not know how to go about having it or keeping it. We see others with so much, and we think, it is just not fair that they should have so much while I have so little. The real problem with this line of thinking is, that very thinking is the cause of why you are where you are.
Abundance comes in many forms and means different things to different people: enough material possessions to live a life of ease; enough work to pay for clothes, dinner out, and yearly vacations; enough Love and support and friends and family; enough clients, business, and money continually flowing in; enough clean water to drink and stay alive and disease free. The key word in all these meanings is enough.
Paul Getty was once asked, “How much is enough?” He replied, “Just a little more.” While that way of thinking may sound a bit greedy to some, to others, it is the mindset aligned with achieving a goal. No matter which perception one has, Getty’s reply is based in a line of thinking that could be referred to as scarcity mindset, or competition, fear of losing, fear of lack, or fear of not havingenough thinking.
Abundance begins with defining what abundance looks like to us as individuals. One can only define it for himself. If we copy someone else’s definition, we create a continual comparison that which was never rooted in our own truth, which will continually lead us into disappointment and suffering. It is time to let go of our old views about abundance. Abundance can mean anything we want it to mean, anything that makes us feel good. Abundance can mean that I have a drawer full of socks that will provide me with enough socks for thirty days without doing a load of wash, even with that occasional missing sock. Abundance can mean that you always end up with an ample flow of income, even if it comes in ways you do not expect. Abundance can mean that I have the freedom of time to do what I want when I want it, without concern or worry. Abundance can mean that you have a thriving business that you are passionate about and that is always fulfilling. Abundance can mean that I am Loved and adored and cared for by my partner, child, or parent. Abundance can mean that you have more than enough art supplies to enable your creative gifts to flow unrestrained for years.
Your Abundance Mindset begins with defining what it will look like in your life. Remember, you were not created from a place of lack. If you see lack in your life, it is a result of your line of thinking, aka, your mindset or beliefs, and your learned habit of comparison and copying.
Our mindsets―aka beliefs and attitudes―toward both abundance and scarcity greatly influence our lives, our perceptions, and our circumstances, both current and future. Those who allow a scarcity mindset to work its way into their beliefs tend to pay a high price. When resources they perceive as limited—such as money, recognition, Love, possessions, followers, ease, or opportunity—enter their lives, fear thrives, trauma ensues, and loss results. They believe it will not last, that it is not meant for them, that it has a risk, or some other fear-based belief. That fear is what ends up shifting their reality into the manifestation of the very thing they feared to lose. Fear is the largest, most powerful, and vicious destroyer of abundance, joy, health, and ease.
Imagine that you and I are walking down the street on a beautiful day with the sun shining, the birds singing, and not a single cloud in the sky. We both stop for a moment and take a deep breath in, taking in the energy of our surroundings. We breathe in, and we breathe out. We both need oxygen to survive. That we both know. Do you ever worry that there is not enough oxygen for both of us in the same place during our walk? Of course not. We both know that there is more than enough for both of us, and everyone else.
Now imagine that we are both scuba diving when my tank suddenly runs out of oxygen. I signal to you that I need to share your supply, so that I can safely make it up to the surface of the water. In that moment, the amount of oxygen becomes a precious commodity. The scarcity of it brings worry. We both start to wonder if there is enough for both of us to survive. The fear of survival brings scarcity thinking.
The Scarcity Mindset results in people seeing life as having a fixed, exhaustible, or limited number of elements and objects, thus divvying portions, according to their perceived criteria and beliefs about what might happen if. Two of the most common criteria used to determine who gets what size portion are: stature or importance; and mental and physical ability. The more important and able persons get bigger or more frequent portions, leaving what is left for the rest of the people who are judged as less important or able.
The struggle that most have is in these Scarcity Mindset or Mentality Mindset beliefs:
There is not enough to go around… there will be a time when there will not be enough… There are good and not-so-good choices; I am afraid of being ignored or determined not worthy enough, so…. I will keep collecting and storing as much as I can, for that day when… I must keep to myself what I have, in case of…. If I have enough, they will like me, or I will be happy.
People with this mindset often have an exceedingly difficult time sharing the spotlight, recognition, credit, power, profit, food, supplies, or resources―even with those who have helped create the spotlight or profit for that person. They often find it difficult to be genuinely happy for the success and happiness of others.
The Abundance Mindset is found in people with a deeper sense of self-worth, faith, trust, compassion, or confidence in knowing who they are and believing they will always have enough of what they need. They tend to have a belief that there is plenty to go around–or more where that came from–gratitude for what they have, and a broader awareness of vision and seeing what is possible. Sharing the spotlight, profit, credit, or resources comes easily to them. They are not in a competition with life or people. They are in appreciation of life and people.
Most of us want abundance. We pray for it. We ask for it. We say affirmations of it. We strategize it. Some of us even demand it. Yet many do not know how to spot it when it is in front of them, because of their limited perceptions and definitions of what it should look like, where it should come from, or their judgement of its capacity. They do not know how to allow it into their lives because of their conditioned habits and thought patterns.
Here is an exercise to demonstrate this.
Stretch your arms out in front of you with your palms open, facing up.
Now, envision how much of something can be placed in each palm, to the point that it will overflow.
Envision that something overflowing, continually, and endlessly.
As you move from one area to another in your life, each need is satisfied by what the Universe supplies, and it moves with you and freely fills the next need you have, as you need it, when you need it, and to the amount you need it. That is abundance—Living your life with unclenched palms open to what the Universe will bring you, until your palms overflow, and your need is satisfied. This is called The Law of Abundance. Like the law of gravity, The Law of Abundance is a universal principle that always is, and that will never allow you to lack what you really need and want in the moment you really need and want it. But the way it works requires trust, faith, and letting go of all constricting and conflicting beliefs and emotion.
What is it that really and truly would make you feel happy, supported by the Universe, and free from worry of lack? What does that vision look like? Describe the scene of your personal version of abundance. Go into as much detail as you want, and be as simple, or as complex as you want to be. Use your imagination, your heart, and your sense of fun.
How do you feel with this scene of abundance? Write anything that comes up for you but focus on feelings and emotions.
Many live their lives with arms stretched out, palms up, and fists quickly closing as soon as they have the things, people, and circumstances they want and think they need, clenching to keep from letting anything—or anyone—get away. Quickly closing fists cannot be filled with what they need when they need it. And when we clutch or hold on too long, we are blinded from noticing that much of what we have been holding onto is no longer serving who we have become and what we now need. Rather than keeping us in abundance, our clenching and long holding causes us conflict, emotional exhaustion, physical harm, and even the devastation and loss that we were trying so hard to avoid.
By releasing our beliefs that we have to control everything, in order to survive, function, or thrive, and by allowing the Universe to bring us what we need in its natural flow and state of abundance, we gain a sense of immense and utter relief. Our relief and release, when combined with trust and faith in an intelligent, intuitive, and abundant Universe will lead us to a place of freedom. Freedom gives us an ability to be in appreciation and awe of all there is. Appreciation enables a deep feeling of peace to take root within us. Inner peace allows our inner joy to rise. Release, trust, faith, freedom, appreciation, peace, joy. That is how to create and maintain a state of abundance.
All of us have the capacity to attract to ourselves what seems to be missing in our lives.
Whether it is a healing, a relationship, a promotion, or whatever form of abundance you want to manifest in your life,
you have much more power to be able to manifest it than you might think.
— Wayne Dyer
Tips to help you develop an Abundance Mindset:
Learn from everything. Increase your awareness
Think like a beginner, even if you are not.
Take the attitude of being open to learning, not closed and already knows.
Ask, “What am I supposed to learn from this?” in every situation.
Ask yourself if you feel happiness and ease, or resentment and struggle.
Clean, Clear, Clarify. Clutter leaves no room for abundance to enter.
Get organized and stay organized. Clean up all the odds and ends that are energy vampires.
Avoid time wasters. Delete all things that do not benefit you or hold you back from what you want. Clear your head, your space, and your life of excess, old stories, damaged goods, and waste.
You attract who you are, so observe yourself by observing those in your circles. Carefully select the company you keep. Release and avoid victim energy people and those who suck your energy, pressure you, or criticize you. Associate with and learn from others who are abundant, joyful, inspired, energized, generous, loving, and appreciative.
Clean your mind, your schedule, your commitments, and your physical space for only what is important and emotionally enlivening for you. This clarifies your energy and tells the Universe, “I’m serious and ready to make room for what really moves and inspires me.”
Clarify and Cultivate your passion. Express and share what moves you.
Concentrate on growing your awareness of YOU, what moves YOU, and what your biggest passions are. Abundance will follow.
Clarify what you want in your heart and soul first, then in your mind’s vision; then write it down.
Dive into your passion. Focus on feeling good. Cultivate deep, blissful, and meaningful experiences. Then share from them.
Watch what you say. Words are powerful manifesters.
What the mind believes, the Universe mirrors back a physical reality reflection.
Be aware of your thoughts. Your thoughts become your beliefs.
Recognize and be aware of your symptoms of scarcity, fear, pessimism, or unworthiness.
Identify thoughts of plenty versus lack, appreciating versus competing, receiving versus clutching, allowing versus clenching, trusting versus fearing or doubting, feeling good versus feeling worried. Which thoughts come to you first?
Change your thought patterns. Thought patterns create habits.
Shift from fear of missing out to belief in an unlimited supply from an intelligent, divine timing Universe.
Realize that loss or endings are making space for the new thing or person to enter, to better serve the new you waiting to be realized and come alive.
Focus on what makes you happy and what your vision is that you are dreaming and creating, rather than what is missing in your life.
Start following your hunches, your urges, your intuition. They will always lead you to the right thing, the right time, the right idea, or the right person.
Practice Gratitude and be in this Moment.
Be grateful for this moment.
Speak words of appreciation aloud to yourself and to others as you feel them in the moment.
Look for the things you appreciate about yourself and who you are inside.
Give from a place of gratitude and give in the moment you feel the urge. Share the wealth. Give because it feels good right now, not with the expectation of receiving. Give from the heart.
Realize the greater value and gift in true, raw happiness, passion, and meaningfulness found in each moment, rather than quantity.
Reflect on what you are thinking, seeing, learning, becoming aware of, and feeling in this moment.
Believe you deserve good in life. Believe in a wise and loving Universe.
Do not fear change. Open yourself to what the Universe is wanting to bring to you and embrace it.
Look for the positive things in your life and around you that are right, good, happy, fun, bright, and loving.
Notice your progress. Focus on how you have grown, opened, released, and strengthened.
Where do your mindset and actions fall into an Abundance Mindset? Give examples.
Where do they fall into a Scarcity or Fear Mindset? Give examples.
Be specific in your examples. The closer you look at your thoughts, the better picture you will see showing what is behind them.
When you are finished, compare them to realize which ones are false. Yes, false. Lack of self-worth will allow thoughts of lack to slip in. If you do not believe you are worthy of, or able to live an abundant life, you will prevent yourself from living an abundant life. You can only achieve and manifest what you believe to be true. It is time to discern between what is true and what is false in your mindset, so you can manifest what you want.
After you have identified what is true and what is not, begin to catch yourself when you are thinking beliefs that are not true, or do not have to be true. As you start shifting into believing what is true, or can be true for you, you will start to believe you are worthy of an abundant life, and then you will start to create it. Whether you believe you can, or you believe you cannot be abundant, you will prove yourself correct.
The only thing that is keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.
