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When the Winds of Change Come, Build a Windmill

Published: 8 February 2021
Written by Joseph Binning
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Categories: Change

When the Winds of Change Come, Build a Windmill

When the Winds of Change Come, Build a Windmill
When the Winds of Change Come, Build a Windmill

Change. People fear it. It’s frightening. We can’t control it. We know it’s coming. It always comes. It’s inevitable. When the winds of change come, we have two choices. We can build a wall and hunker down and hope it passes. Or we can build a windmill to bring a newfound energy into our lives.

 

People gravitate to what’s familiar to them. What they know. It doesn’t matter that what they know might or could be bad or wrong or bad for them, it’s what they know. People can carry bad habits and/or mindsets for years and become comfortable with them. They get used to things a certain way in our lives. It’s familiar.

 

Definition of winds of change

: forces that have the power to change things — used generally to mean change is going to happen.

The winds of change have begun to blow.[1]

 

This is the major reason we don’t like change. Familiar has an outcome we know. Change does not. This is the principal reason people fear it.

 

Change means uncertainty, something unknown. Something registers in people’s brains that triggers that uncomfortable feeling of the unknown. They imagine many outcomes, and none of them are good.

 

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

George Bernard Shaw

 

The problem is that the one thing in life that is certain is that it will change. We have no control of it, ever. Never have, and never will have. If you think you do, ask the rain to stop in the middle of the storm. Won’t happen. You’ll just have to wait it out like the rest of us.

 

We can do our best to project a positive outcome in our lives in our minds, but unless your compass has been calibrated and maintained there is a strong chance that when you set sail of that small island in the middle of nowhere you will get lost.

 

You have two choices when the winds of change blow:

  1. Build a wall and wait out the winds of change.
  2. Build a windmill and use the energy of the storm to your benefit.

 

When confronted with change, most people prefer to hunker down and try to wait it out. “We have never done it this way in the past.” “I just don’t like it that way.” “I won’t do it that way, so I quit.”

 

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

Leo Tolstoy

 

I have a friend who faced severe health issues because of certain life choices. After being diagnosed, they were given the information of what needed to change in their lives to correct the problem along with surgery.

 

The person agreed to change habits in order to receive the surgery and did for a while. But it wasn’t long before the old habits crept in and they were right back where they started, only now in debt.

 

Rather than resist the changes needed and dictated by life, build a windmill. The windmill uses the surrounding force to convert otherwise useless energies around it into a positive energy force that can be converted into positive and useful energy.

 

Really, it’s all about our perspective and how we look at things in these situations. How we perceive problems is how we decide on what action to take to fix it. If what we perceive to be true is actually not true, then we are making critical decisions based on inaccurate perceptions.

 

As an example of this, we can be heard saying that the sun is setting over the horizon as if it is moving in a circular path around us. Yet isn’t it actually true that it is standing still while the Earth rotates around the sun?

 

Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.

Nikos Kazantzakis

 

Being open to change allows for the positive forces in our lives to manifest and work to our benefit. Remember, the winds of change will blow whether we like it, so why not use them to our advantage rather than hunker down and get our roofs blown off?

 

I will leave you with this thought. Change is an attitude. If you say yes to change, you are opening yourself up to a new beginning with new and exciting outcomes. If you say you can’t change, you are really saying you won’t change. And that’s another article.

When the Winds of Change Come, Build a Windmill.
When the Winds of Change Come, Build a Windmill.

That why I say When the Winds of Change Come, Build a Windmill.

 

 

Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.

Margaret Mead

 

I’ve written another article that you might like. You can read it here:

IN THE END ALL THAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU DO

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

 

Joseph Binning
Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.
Joseph Binning

[1] “Winds of change.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/winds%20of%20change. Accessed 25 Jan. 2021.

The Most Important Ingredient In Love, Real Love, Is Trust

Published: 10 August 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
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Categories: Relationships

 “I trust you” is a better compliment than “I love you” because you may not always trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust…

-Joseph Binning

Love, we all seek it. We all need it. We all desire it. Lasting, fulfilling Love. But to give yourself to another, fully and freely give them all of you, the most important ingredient in Love, is Trust.

Trust is one of the most crucial building blocks of becoming emotionally intimate with another person. It is fundamental for a healthy, close relationship. The building of trust takes time, patience, and work to establish it.

Merriam-Webster defines trust, the verb, as;

  1. to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of
  2. to place confidence in: rely on.

Trust means trusting yourself, your own judgments, and trusting others. Trust is the foundation for any relationship. Without it, the relationship will not last. Lack of trust is the main reason relationships fall apart.

Why?

Because, if you don’t have trust, it means you won’t feel secure with your partner. Trust means you can rely on your partner, can confide in them, and feel safe with them.

When mistrust comes in, loves goes out.

 -Irish proverb

But we must earn trust. It takes time. It’s not automatic. It is essential to a lasting love. The good news–with effort, we can build trust.  Even if there have been issues with trust in your relationship, you can change and build a trusting, secure connection. The first step is to recognizes if you have trust issues in your relationship and then work to build trust and improve your relationship.

We fill the beginning with long, laughter-filled dates and passionate first kisses. Afterwards might bring moments filled with doubt—maybe even fear—about your budding romance and where it is going might creep in. People bring all kinds of baggage with them when they enter a new relationship, and a lack of trust can weigh the union down before it even gets started.

We’re all carrying our pasts around with us: Whether we’re scarred by an unfaithful partner from a previous relationship or we’re working through a childhood trauma, learning to trust a new partner and/or moving past old trust issues can be tough. And getting your partner to trust you is no simple task.

Why Trust is vital in a relationship

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.

 -Joseph Binning

In a relationship you cannot give all of yourself to someone you cannot trust.

In a lasting relationship you place your heart in someone else’s hands, freely, without hesitation, and you give all of it. It is a scared rite of passage. Without trust, this is not possible.

Trust promotes healing

I have always said that in a relationship you will either someone will misunderstand you or you will be misunderstood. The trick is to figure out which one it is. In either case, someone stands the chance of getting hurt. Lack of trust will prevent the other person from seeking relief from the pain, either from causing the pain, or receiving the pain. If you can trust that the other person will listen to you, and receive what you said, trust will flourish.

Trust breeds hope

Hope is a powerful thing. If your partner trusts you, there is always hope that your relationship can survive the storms of life. Trust that you won’t leave. Trust that you will listen, intending to hear what you have to say. Trust that they will stand beside you.

Trust keeps your emotions in check

Healthy trust in a relationship will prevent those thoughts in your head of unfaithfulness if your partner doesn’t answer the phone. Trust will prevent the mind from racing out of control when you are not with your partner. Trust will allow you to be honest and open with your partner when you have an issue to discuss.

Trust sets you free

Trusting your partner and being trusted by your partner gives you the freedom to not need to explain your actions and decisions to your partner. It allows you to have personal space without having to worry and allows you to be fully present wherever you are.

For trust to flourish, you must first be trustable

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

–Ernest Hemingway

 

For trust to flourish, we must consistently earn trust.

Each time you earn your partner’s trust by showing them you are trustworthy, you put reserves in your emotional savings account. We draw from this account when situations arise that might otherwise cause doubt. Earning your partner’s trust will create security in your partner, which brings trust to the relationship.

Live with a high level of integrity.

Integrity creates a high level of trust in your partner because they can come to expect how you will act or react in certain situations. When your partner knows that you will do the right thing even when no one is around creates a powerful level of trust in any relationship, but especially with your partner.

Look them in the eyes

Make eye contact. When you speak to your partner, fix your eyes on them, and them only. Avoid the distractions. Make them feel as if they were/are the only ones in the room, no matter where you are. Direct eye contact tells them they matter to you in that moment. Teaching them how important they are to you will build a powerful bond and create a powerful level of trust.

Always be honest

Be yourself always. Never try to be someone or something else, especially when you are together. If something offends you, say so. If your mad, say so lovingly. If something makes you happy, say so. Don’t hide your feeling for any reason. Allow them to trust that they know the real you.

Always show respect

Respect goes a long way. Showing someone the respect they do or don’t deserve makes you the better person and builds trust that you will always act with honor. Honor the relationship and respect the person.

TRUST IS THE OIL THAT KEEPS YOUR RELATIONSHIP BURNING

I’m not upset that you lied to me; I’m upset from now on, I can’t believe you.

–Friedrich Nietzsche

We can liken trust to oil in a lamp. Without it, the fire in your relationship won’t remain burning. And just as oil helps keep a machine working efficiently, trust helps make sure your relationship keeps on working and moving in the right direction. Trust, like oil, should be clean and free of debris. To replenish trust in your relationship, like oil, you need to keep it free from debris which leads to doubt. You can do it by choosing to trust and be trustworthy daily. As soon as you wake up, make a conscious decision to trust and not doubt. Eventually, trusting will become part of your system and one that you won’t have to force yourself into doing.

Trust is the key component of every relationship and should be an intricate part of your relationship. Value it, enjoy it, but protect it, and your relationship will be as strong as a fortress built on a hill.

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You might also like this: IN ORDER TO LOVE SOMEONE WELL, YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF, FIRST * 12 EASY STEPS TO LEARN HOW

And this one: WHY THE MESSAGE YOU MATTER, EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO IS SO IMPORTANT NOW

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here: Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

You Matter, even if you don't think so

The Emperor and the Builder: How to Build a Significant Life

Published: 13 July 2020
Written by Joseph Binning
No comments
Categories: Change

Once upon a time in ancient China, there was a builder who worked only for the Emperor. For several decades he designed and built many magnificent houses and majestic structures for the Emperor and the royal court and was getting ready to retire.

One day, the Emperor summoned him. “I understand you will retire soon and enjoying a well-deserved rest from the toils of working for so many years, but I have one last project for you” said the Emperor. I want you to design and build the best house you have ever created. You will oversee all work from the beginning to the end. I have already picked out the best location for the house. All you need do is buy the best materials and hire the best workers to build it. Spare no expense. It must be your best work.”

With this last task the builder saw an opportunity. Since he would be the only one in charge, no one would know if he took a few shortcuts here and there. Since he was about to retire, this would be his last chance to make a little extra money. He was, after all, the best builder in the land and knew how to make something look good on the outside even though it was built poorly on the inside.

They granted the builder unlimited resources to build the house, of which he only spent a fraction of by buying low grade materials and using less expensive and less qualified labor and rushed the project to completion. When the builder finished, he sent word to the Emperor of the house’s completion.

The Emperor was pleased and vowed to visit the house to see what the builder had built.

JosephBinning.com

 

When the Emperor arrived, the builder was surprised to see all the Emperor’s Ministers and Royal Court had accompanied him. They were all extremely impressed with the house and the builder was not concerned that they would discover he had taken so many shortcuts because he used all of his tricks he had learned over the years to hide them.

The Emperor gathered all his Royal Court together and made an announcement. “As you all know, the builder has worked tirelessly for me for many years and has designed and built many grand structures and now is retiring and this house will be his greatest masterpiece.

The Emperor then handed the builder the keys to the house and proclaimed “the best way for me to thank him and show him my appreciation for many years of faithful work, is to give his greatest masterpiece to him as the perfect retirement present.”

Everyone erupted in applause, but the builder stood stunned in disbelief.

 

This story is a metaphor for life. When you enter it, it gives you unlimited resources and opportunities to build the best life possible. It is your responsibility to direct whatever energy is required to manage it. Your mission is clear: build the best life possible and spare no expense.

 

Where your story gets complicated is when, like the builder, you find out that you are in charge and must assume sole responsibility of your life from beginning to the end, from birth to death. By that I mean you are free to design your life any way you desire. This freedom is a wonderful thing because, like the builder, only you are in charge. There is great liberty in knowing you, and only you, oversee your life. This freedom can also be a terrible thing because you are only accountable to yourself. There is no one watching or supervising you to make sure you make the correct decisions and choices. Only you know when you take a short cut in life.

The trap in life is when we believe because we are in charge, we only need to do the minimal to get by. Not putting in the required work needed to gain that what you deserve in life, creating a façade with no substance that would require the tedious work needed to accumulate what we need to build the best life possible. You create a false image for you and others to see.

The trap gives you momentum without knowing it; it allows you to take the effortless way out without doing the work required. But it is in doing the work required that creates the person who you need to be. It is not the destination in life that makes you the person you need to become; it is the journey that shapes you and molds you. It is the mistakes you make along the way that teaches you who you want to be.

The builder who thought he was working for someone else and took short cuts, but he only cheated himself out of a tremendous gift in the end. When you cheat, you cheat yourself. We cannot destroy a house built on a firm foundation. We can shake it. It will go through storms, but it will not fall.

JosephBinning.com

 

Here is How to Build a Significant Life

  1. Always be Teachable

Never stop learning and never stop being willing to allow life to teach you fresh things. It is when we feel we have arrived life is over. Remember, it is what you learn AFTER you know it all that counts.

  1. Look in the mirror first

Every day wake up and look in the mirror. Ask the person you see if they are doing the very best they can and demand an honest answer. If the answer is no, tell them to fix it.

  1. Do the right thing, even when no one is looking

Always do your best in everything. When you cheat and take shortcuts you cheat yourself. You are worth more than second best.

  1. Remember you are worth it

We cheat and take short cuts because they are easy. They do not require hard work. Each time you cheat or take a short cut the next time it becomes easier. Soon, it becomes the only way you know. Know that each time you cheat or take a short cut you cheat yourself out of a victory, be it large or small. You deserve and are worth those victories.

  1. Show the World how to live

Notice I did not say, tell the world, I said to show the world. Life is a stage and people are watching you. Your actions are teaching someone something every day if you want to or not. Teach them well.

JosephBinning.com

You might also like this:  DON’T WAIT TO FIND OUT YOU ARE DYING BEFORE YOU START LIVING

And this one: WHAT I LEARNED FROM BEING STUCK AND FROZEN

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

You Matter, even if you don't think so