Learn How to Live a Happy Life & Approach Each Day with a Positive Attitude.
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You Matter, even if you don’t think so
From: Joseph Binning Subject: Happiness Is A Choice
Happiness is something we all strive for. Nobody wants to be miserable. Yet, we oftentimes get in our own way when it comes to being happy.
Did you know there is a difference between feeling happy and being truly happy? It’s true. There are things that can make you feel happy, temporarily. An alcoholic drink, a shopping trip and so forth. But to be truly happy, you must feel it from within, without those instant gratification items.
If you are not feeling true happiness. If you’re relying on someone else to make you happy, you need to grab my book.
Inside you’ll learn:
How we make our lives hard by not choosing happiness
Techniques for being more positive
How to take responsibility for your own happiness
How to stop relying on others to make you happy
How to love without attachment
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You Matter, even if you don’t think so
Simply follow the link and start the journey today!
If you are tired of being miserable and want more happiness in your life, get started right now. Just follow the link and get started living the life you were meant to live. Your new life starts today!
YOUR BELIEFS–Where Did They Come From and Are They Really Yours?
If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be,
you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.
— Dale Carnegie
“the state of mind in which a person thinks something to be the case, with or without empirical evidence to prove that something is the case with factual certainty;”
“a mental representation of an attitude positively oriented toward the likelihood of something being true.”
YOUR BELIEFS–Where Did They Come From and Are They Really Yours?
Ancient Greek thought identifies belief as being related to: pistis, meaningtrust and confidence; and doxa, meaning “orthodoxy,” referring to opinion and acceptance.
In his book, What Beliefs Are Made From, author Jonathan Leicester writes: “… belief has the purpose of guiding action rather than indicating truth.”
Ready for some cold hard truth? Beliefs are just thoughts, and most are not ours.
Beliefs are funny. We don’t believe the sun will come up—we expect it to come up—and it does, every day.
Who chose the religion or spiritual affiliation that you identify as yours? Was it handed down to you by your family who lives by that religion? Or maybe your friends? Your sorority, fraternity, or school? Were you born into it? Were you baptized in it? Married into it? Pressured into it? Was it the religion of our community? Your culture? Your country? Your history? A movement? A revolution?
If you were raised in a certain religion, it is likely that you still follow that religion, or identify it as your roots—even if you don’t practice it, attend services, or even know all its principles. Just by its familiarity to you or your family, you identify it as yours. Yet, most likely, it was not you who intentionally, thoughtfully, actively, or passionately chose it. You just followed the familiar path. Have you ever wondered which religion or spiritual belief you would choose if you could study and understand all the belief systems in the world? Have you asked yourself why we even choose a religion?
Going astray—a common phrase used to describe what many children do as a result of being raised in religious households—has troubled parents for generations. Dismayed, confused, or angry, the parent’s mindset is, wetaught our children better. Yet, they haven’t considered that their children would eventually make religious, moral, and other decisions for themselves, based on their individual preferences, desires, and needs.
Who chose your political affiliation? Did you follow your family’s affiliation? Are your choices a result of following the party of the region you live in? Is it the same affiliation as that of your friends? Is it out of a desire to fit in with a majority? Is it peer pressure? Do you find yourself choosing words, actions and lifestyles, in order to appear politically correct? Have you done enough research to feel and know, with absolute confidence, that your affiliation is aligned with who you are inside and all you believe in? Have you asked why you choose one at all?
About the time I first began writing this book, America had just experienced an extremely divisive political election like never before. The world-wide-web posted a clip of a very young boy who, in a mock election at school, had voted for the candidate opposite the one his parents voted for. Upon arriving home, his mother videotaped him being escorted out of the house with a suitcase she had packed for him and carrying a sign that said he was kicked out of the house for voting for the wrong person. Rather than praising her child for using his personal choice and critical thinking, and even using the circumstance to create an open discussion with him, she humiliated him, further deepening his familial and social conditioning, and, quite possibly, emotionally and mentally scarring him for years, if not life.
A daughter asked her mother why the family meatloaf recipe that they all Loved needed to be baked in a tiny six-inch pan. It was never big enough to feed the entire family. The mother answered that the recipe was passed down from her mother, and she didn’t want to alter it in any way, even to make a larger size, for fear of changing the result. She suggested that the daughter ask her mother (the grandmother) about it. The grandmother gave the same answer that the girl’s mother did and suggested that her granddaughter ask her mother (the great grandmother) about it. When the girl asked her great grandmother, she was informed, “It’s the only size pan that would fit in my oven.Ovens were much smaller back then.” Until the daughter persisted in seeking the real reason for something she perceived as illogical, the familial conditioned habit and response would have continued, creating more generations of followers, like sheep.
How often do we assume that our actions and beliefs are based on information that we understand and agree with?
Pause to write.
What are some of your beliefs that you assume are yours because you have heard them so much, or believed them for a long time? Here are a few examples:
Health: “All the men in our family eventually get diabetes.”
Happiness: “No one is capable of staying truly happy.”
Relationships: “Relationships usually bring pain.”
Creativity: “Some people are creative. I didn’t get that gene.”
Success: “Success is having a house, a couple cars, recreational toys, two plus vacations a year, and a triple digit income.”
Appearance: “I’m not attractive enough for (fill in the blank).”
Intelligence: “I never score well on tests, because I don’t have a high enough IQ.”
Self-Worth: “I can’t start my own business. I’m not skilled, experienced, gifted, or licensed in anything.”
Destiny-Fate-Karma: “My mother had a hard life, and her mother had a hard life. Women have hard lives in our family.”
Depending on our age and level of self-discovery, most of our beliefs are beliefs that have been handed down to us, expected of us, or programmed into us. Are you living authentically by your personal beliefs and desires? Or, are you living by the beliefs and desires of others?
Be honest with yourself. Write a list of five or more beliefs about the topics above, or about money, Love, God, religion, sex, power, life, family, work, happiness, freedom, or any other beliefs that come to mind. Leave some space between each belief. In the space between each belief you listed, write your response to each of the following three questions. Respond from a place of openness, willingness, self-inquiry, discovery, and curiosity. Imagine that anything is possible.
Where does that belief come from? (Where, or from whom, do you remember first hearing it, or continually hearing it?)
Is it real, factual, true, as far as you, know? Or is it an expectation, or assumption, but not necessarily true?
Is it something you truly, completely, and always believe, agree with, and value? Or was it handed down to you, or expected of you, or programmed into you (from parent, friend, teacher, mentor, religious leader, political leader, society, culture)?
After writing your responses to each of the beliefs you wrote, look at what you wrote. Then, write your responses to these questions:
How do you feel?
What beliefs do you have that don’t feel good to you?
What beliefs do you have because someone close to you has that belief?
Each belief that you discovered did not come from you is not your belief, yet you have been carrying it in that sack on your back. You do not need to carry beliefs that are not true to you. If they are not true to you, they are defeating you, weighing you down, undermining your power to live authentically, energetically, happily, and freely. It is time to let these go and release their weight on your thoughts.
Write your responses:
What beliefs do you have that don’t make you feel energized, empowered, joyful, healthy, strong, capable, hopeful, or excited about life?
Are you afraid to change any of these beliefs? If so, which beliefs? Why? Write any thoughts, fears, or concerns that come to you about what might happen if you changed the belief you are hesitant to change. If any thoughts or feelings come up for you, like failure, regret, self-identity, loyalty, letting someone down, where you’ve been, or your past, go back and review one of the previous posts that calls to you.
Our feelings, thoughts, and responses to life have a great deal to do with the conditions in which we were raised, the locations in which we grew up, the channels of knowledge we received, and the beliefs of the people who raised us.
From before you can even remember, you have been making thousands of decisions and choices, many of which you were not aware of making, but following, or doing out of habit, or by not thinking, or choosing by lack of a specific desire. Every one of your decisions—both those you were aware of making, and those you were not aware of making—come into play every day of your existence. From birth, you they indoctrinate you with decisions and choices based primarily on someone else’s direction, opinion, desire, belief, need, or pressure.
Most mammals emerge from the womb like glazed earthenware emerging from a kiln—
any attempt at remolding will only a scratch or break them.
Humans emerge from the womb like molten glass from a furnace.
Humans can be molded and shaped with surprising freedom.
Through education, politics, religion, culture, and other institutions, from childhood, they mold us into Christians or Buddhists, Capitalists or Socialists, Revolutionaries or Peace Seekers—and so on. Without realizing it, we are products of our conditioning. What we perceive to be normal or true is a product of our history and upbringing, and these perceptions influence our decisions and actions every day.
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.
If you change the way you look at things, you will change the way you see.
An online survey asked, “What’s the first thing you notice about someone you see for the first time, when seeing them from a distance?” The overwhelming response was, “appearance.” When asked what the second thing is, the majority answered, “the way they carried themselves and if they seemed approachable, or not, from a personal safety standpoint.”
A man entered a subway with his two children and sat staring ahead in a daze, as if lost in deep thought. His two children were running everywhere, loud, and unruly. After some time, an annoyed passenger approached the man and said, “Excuse me, could you please tend to your children? They are disturbing the other passengers.” The man looked up at him and said, “I’m sorry, they just lost their mother. Cancer. They don’t know how to deal with it.”
We see people from the viewpoint of our perceptions of them, which are based on everything they have taught us, without knowing that we are not seeing them in their complete, true beingness. Most times, that which we perceive is not the reality. Based on experiences, the passenger thought the children were unruly and the man was a bad parent. They base perceived reality on the limited, incomplete, and/or false knowledge, beliefs, and data. Our perceptions of everyone and everything outside of us are all based on our reality—our learned beliefs, experiences, and expectations from them—though we believe we are being aimed to see factual reality. Our perceived reality is the frame through which we see and explain the world.
We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.
Did you choose your profession based on your own perception of it? Was it because you thought it would provide stability, or esteem, or some quality that you believed would be necessary or valuable? Or was your decision a result of discussions with one or more parents, counselors, experts, or friends, and their perceptions of it? Did you decide based on other’s perceptions, wishes, or offers? Or did you choose it purely from your own thoughts and desires?
Did you marry or enter a relationship with someone of the same religious affiliation? If so, did you choose that person? Or were you following the family’s tradition, desires, or direction? Or was your choice not influenced by religion at all?
Are you living in a location, dwelling, city, state, or country that you chose? Or are you living in a location out of financial or other necessity? Or are you living somewhere out of someone else’s desire, influence or requirement, or to be in proximity to a person, family, or group of people? Are you living in a location for the pure and simple reason that you liked it and desired to live there?
Have you attended a college, university, or educational institution? Whether yes, or no—is it because you chose to, or chose not to? Was the choice yours, or was it made under the request or influence of someone else, or to make someone happy?
Are you deciding based on someone else’s opinion, request, need, or demand? Or are you deciding based on your own desires, knowledge, or preferences?
Three men were building a wall at a beautiful church. When asked what he was doing, the first replied, “I’m stacking these stones.” The second man answered, “I’m building a wall.” The third man declared, “I’m helping to create a magnificent place for people to find comfort and peace.” Three different men doing the same task have three different perceptions of what they were doing. Only one knew why.
Which one is most like you? Why?
Which one is like the “You” you are becoming? In what way?
When people see some things as beautiful, other things become ugly.
When people see more things as good, other things become bad.
 AZ Quotes.com/Quotes/Authors/M/ Mahatma Gandhi/ https://www.azquotes.com/quote/453692
 Dreamflesg.com/reviews/Sapiens A Brief History of Mankind/ https://dreamflesh.com/review/book/sapiens/#:~:text=Most%20mammals%20emerge%20from%20the%20womb%20like%20glazed,much%20or%20more%20by%20culture%20as%20by%20nature.
Don’t Hate What You Are Because What You Are: Is Beautiful
Don’t believe what others see in you, choose to believe only what you see in yourself.
It’s no wonder that people, women especially, have self-image issues. I read an article today on Psycholigy.com while doing my research for this article. The authors’ message just makes the water cloudier concerning the subject.
In her opinion, telling someone that “You Are Beautiful” prompts a “No, I’m not” response more often than not. She says that people with body image issues who are told they are beautiful create a counter message and draws their attention to how they look.
Personally, I believe that this is the wrong message to be sending anyone, especially someone with body image issue. Because we are ALL beautiful. Learning to look past the exterior and seeing yourself for who you are instead of what you are is the key.
Most of our media images we associate with “beauty” are from the east or west coasts. Areas where the substance of a person isn’t a priority. Growing up in Los Angeles with what we lovingly called the “plastic” crowd, we saw perfectly beautiful men and women change their bodies and appearances in order to fit someone else’s idea of how they should look.
This did not make them happy inside.
It’s my opinion, and maybe I am alone in this, that what’s profoundly important is what’s on the inside that radiates outward that makes for genuine beauty. We live in a society today that tells us not to see each other as people, but see each other as things. This is where we lose our humanity. We become superficial and dishonor each other and ourselves.
Having qualities that delight or appeal to the senses and often the mind.
What I love about this definition is that there is no mention of the superficial exterior but the “senses and often the mind”. When we stop seeing ourselves and people as things and start seeing ourselves and people as people, we can finally see the beauty within ourselves and in others.
I have two sayings I use rather often:
When asked what I don’t like, my immediate response is “ugly people, and that has nothing to do with looks”. We all know them, the judgmental, superficial, just want to talk about me people. I do my best to avoid them.
And second, “you are Beautiful, and you look good also”. I do my best to remind people I noticed their genuine beauty and did not focus, or not focus, on their exterior beauty.
I live by two rules in life that I would like to share with you all that I think will help if you have personal body image issues.
#1. No Regrets
I live my life fully, on my own terms, not someone else’s. I think about everything I do BEFORE I do them, then own it. Fully commit to it and own it.
#2. Your opinion of me is NONE of my business.
People may believe whatever they want about me, and that is perfectly fine with me. I also have the right to not believe them.
You are Beautiful because you are you. You are Amazing because you are you. You are Unique because you are you. You were born of an Amazing Universal Power that makes no mistakes. When we listen to those who don’t matter, and even those who might, when they throw the negatives towards us, and choose to believe them is when our beauty fades.
We need reminders, sometimes often, that we can be beautiful if only we adjust our understanding of what genuine beauty is.
Beauty is seeing someone hurting and helping.
Beauty is seeing something unfair and fighting to help make it right.
Beauty is sharing a sunrise or a sunset or an evening sky full of stars with another who can’t see and explaining it.
Beauty is visiting the sick just to make them happy.
Beauty is selflessness.
Beauty, real beauty, has NOTHING to do with your body and EVERYTHING to do with your heart.
So, Don’t Hate What You Are Because What You Are: Is Beautiful