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You Matter, even if you don’t think so
From: Joseph Binning Subject: Happiness Is A Choice
Happiness is something we all strive for. Nobody wants to be miserable. Yet, we oftentimes get in our own way when it comes to being happy.
Did you know there is a difference between feeling happy and being truly happy? It’s true. There are things that can make you feel happy, temporarily. An alcoholic drink, a shopping trip and so forth. But to be truly happy, you must feel it from within, without those instant gratification items.
If you are not feeling true happiness. If you’re relying on someone else to make you happy, you need to grab my book.
Inside you’ll learn:
How we make our lives hard by not choosing happiness
Techniques for being more positive
How to take responsibility for your own happiness
How to stop relying on others to make you happy
How to love without attachment
BUY IT TODAY:
You Matter, even if you don’t think so
Simply follow the link and start the journey today!
If you are tired of being miserable and want more happiness in your life, get started right now. Just follow the link and get started living the life you were meant to live. Your new life starts today!
Don’t Live the Same Day For 75 Years and Call It A Life
Routine. It’s both a blessing and a curse. Routine can assure us we will be in the same place at the right time and not realize we are living the same day for 75 years and call it a life. Don’t Live the Same Day For 75 Years and Call It A Life.
Most of us know what routine is. Dictionary.com lists routine this way:
A customary or regular course of procedure.
Commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as done regularly or at specified intervals, typical or everyday activity: the routine of an office.
Regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.
An unvarying and constantly repeated formula, as of speech or action; convenient or predictable response: Don’t give me that brotherly love routine!
Pay particular attention to number 3 regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.
Mind numbing behavior that lulls us into a mindless stage that allows life to pass us by without us even knowing it.
I wrote an article titled Avoiding the Hole. You can access it here: AVOIDING THE HOLE
It tells of the dangers of routine. Routine in our daily lives is not bad. We just can’t live the same day, then call it good and check out.
The story is about a person who walks the same path every day (routine) and does not even know they are. They notice the birds singing and the sun shining and are blind to the dangers associated with it.
It’s a beautiful day and they are happy, or so they think (routine=comfort zone). One day a hole appears in front of them (a challenge) and they fall into the hole (struggle). What ensues next is what frightening. When we are forced out of our routines we can feel alone, scared, confused, and even fearful.
The next day when they are walking to work, things seem different. Things seem just a little off. Walking down the same street (routine) and what appears? You guessed it, the hole. In they fall and the emotions of being trapped and out of a comfort zone (routine) create anxiety, stress, and fear, again.
The next day, while walking to work, everything is different. The sun isn’t shining, and the birds are not singing. Low and behold, what do they see? The hole. This time they walk around it (change to the routine).
The next day they walk down a different street (eliminate the routine).
“You don’t drown by falling in a river but by staying submerged in it”
Like I said, routine can be useful. We just need to pay attention that we don’t get stuck in a pattern of living a planned and bland life. Not paying attention can cause us to struggle (falling into a hole) which leads to anxiety, which leads to stress.
Living a routine life can lead to unhappiness in one’s life because we all need excitement sometimes. We need to see unfamiliar landscapes, hear different music, dance to the beat of a different drummer. It keeps us fresh. It keeps us feeling alive inside.
So here are some helpful tips for changing the routines in your life:
Wake up at different times each day.
Change your exercise routines regularly.
Watch different television shows or don’t watch any some nights.
Read a different type of book.
Change your look, clothes can sometimes make the person a new person.
Get your coffee at a different place every day.
Drive or walk a different route to work each day.
Listen to a different radio station or choose a different play list.
Eat new foods, preferably healthy foods.
Choose a new restaurant for date night. If you don’t have a regularly scheduled date night, make one.
Trade turns picking out the restaurant and agree to go to different ones each time.
Turn off the television and play a board game.
Put off the chores and go outside to a park or the mountains or better yet, the beach.
Walk down a different street to avoid the hole. And while you are at it, wear something new when you do.
That’s why I say Don’t Live the Same Day For 75 Years and Call It A Life.
Its Christmas day. Family has gathered together. We have exchanged gifts. We have created memories. It’s the one time of the year when all bad roads can be forgotten or forgiven. Because on Christmas Day All Roads Lead Home.
“Blessed is the season which engages the entire world in a conspiracy of love.”
― Hamilton Wright Mabie
Christmas is a time of family. We gather possibly only once a year and exchange memories, there’s always that one Aunt who pinches your cheek even though you’re too old for that. But you let it slide because it’s Christmas.
Christmas is a time for Love. Love of family is the greatest bond known to man. We can test it, even wound it. But it always survives. Because there is no greater Love for a person than the Love, they have in their heart for another.
Christmas is a time to be safe. As we grow, we venture into the world to make our mark. Sometimes that mark leaves scars. Sometimes deep scars. Coming Home for Christmas is our sanctuary. Possibly we visit so it can remind us of times past that we associate with joy to help us heal.
Coming home for Christmas is a way to come back into the fold again. Knowing we always have a place to return to where those who care for us are and allow us to stay connected or to allow us to reconnect.
Coming home for Christmas adds to the healthy moments we keep locked in our minds that we can draw from when we feel isolated or disconnected with family.
“Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.”
― Joan Mills
Coming home for Christmas is for friends. That warm connection with those who are closest to us. Close enough that we call them friend. A time to catch up and remember why you are friends.
Coming home for Christmas is not about the tree or the presents.
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall”
― Larry Wilde
Coming home for Christmas is about sharing. Sharing memories. Sharing Love. Sharing moments.
Coming home for Christmas is about caring. Caring about each other. Caring how they are doing. Caring how they show up in the moment.
Coming home for Christmas is about giving giving of ourselves to another. Sharing our strength if they need. Sharing their burdens if needed. Sharing the Love you have for them when they need it the most.
And last, coming home for Christmas is about receiving. Receiving the Love given you by others. Receiving the blessing of being family. Receiving the gift of the Spirit of Christmas.
As we greet each other and share the moment with each other, lets remember that Christmas is about family and home. Home can be wherever you are, so don’t think you need to travel many miles to return there.
Therefore I say On Christmas Day All Roads Lead Home.
Its Christmas In Our Hearts That Puts Christmas In the Air
Christmas is not a season; Christmas is a feeling. It fills us with excitement. It can easily remind us of the joy we experienced our first memorable Christmas as a child. It fills our hearts with joy. It brings out the giving side of us. Its Christmas In Our Hearts That Puts Christmas In the Air.
It’s the feeling Christmas brings us that lets us bring down our walls and wear ugly sweaters. It’s the excitement of putting up lights on the house, even though its work. It’s buying and decorating a tree. It’s singing along to the Christmas songs on the radio.
“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.”
― Norman Vincent Peale
Christmas is about many things to many people. It has different meanings. Different symbolism. Take away the symbolism and you have a mutual feeling shared by many.
Christmas brings out kindness and charity in people who forget about such things during the year. We feel obliged to drop in an extra dollar in the guy’s pot in the Santa suits ringing a bell.
It helps us to donate to the homeless shelters so those less fortunate can have a meal and for a moment, maybe only a moment, remember days past when things weren’t so tough.
Christmas just makes us happy. I believe we remember the joy we experienced as children. The excitement of counting the days until Christmas morning. The pure joy we experienced seeing lights on the homes.
We remember neighbors speaking in a friendly way to each other. Possibly the only time they spoke to each other.
It’s a magical time. A time of wonder, joy, excitement, and giving. A time when we as adults can remember what joy actually is. If we can remember.
Between the decorating, the buying of things, the visits to families, and the wrapping of presents, the endless wrapping of presents. As adults, we can be so busy with Christmas that we forget to enjoy it.
The spirit of Christmas lives in our hearts. We locked it away in there as children because we enjoyed it so much. Sometimes we just need to remember Its Christmas In Our Hearts That Puts Christmas In the Air
Life has a funny way about it. Sometimes were up, sometimes were down. One thing is sure, we all go through stuff, but in the end all that matters is what you do with it that counts.
“A happy person is not a person with a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes”
— Hugh Downs American TV Producer
I always say happiness is a choice that leads to an action. External circumstances cannot provide lasting happiness. The shiny new car will bring temporary happiness until your neighbor drives up with a newer one. That new outfit will bring temporary happiness until you see someone else wearing the same outfit. That new toy will bring about temporary happiness until it breaks.
For some, happiness can be very elusive. They just can’t seem to find it, but they keep looking everywhere and everyplace. To no avail. I was like that, always looking for something to make me happy. But it never lasted. Until I figured out the happiness is an internal choice and has nothing to do with external circumstances.
Lasting happiness will never materialize in your life until you stop looking for it. Yes, that is correct, until you stop looking for it. Something will always come up that puts a damper on it. It rains on your wedding day, and you planned it outside. That new car gets a scratch in it, ouch! The new outfit fades, etc. etc., etc.
One way to maintain happiness is to realize that we will all go through stuff in life, that’s guaranteed. The only thing that matters in the end is what you do with it.
I play golf every week with a set of friends for years now. It’s our way of keeping in touch with each other and getting outside to exercise. The beauty of playing golf is typically what you talk about is how well you hit your last shot, or how badly you missed it.
This week we have a 30% chance of rain on the day we are scheduled to play. Out came the message from one guy questioning if we should play or not. He sends out a message the there is a 30% chance of rain so should we take a chance and show up or cancel the game?
Back came a reply from one guy, “yes there is a 30% chance of rain but there is also a 70% chance of sunshine”. In the end all that matters is what you do. We’re showing up to play.
Far too many times people over think things. They play the what if game over and over and over until they talk themselves out of what they were thinking about doing? While analyzing your options is a smart thing to do before you do something, over analyzing something has the opposite effect that we desire for the outcome. It stops us from ever starting.
We have a choice in life, let it beat you up and make you bitter, or accept it and not allow it to damper your happiness. The choice is ours, and only we have the power to decide what the outcome will be.
So how do we choose to be happy? Im glad you asked.
Know that where you have been is not who you are as a person.
We all make mistakes in life, it’s designed that way. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, failed 10,000 times before his idea worked. When asked how it felt to fail 10,000 times, his response was “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Had he chosen to believe that his failures made him a failure, we would all be in the dark.
Do not allow past failures (lessons) to stand in the way from you seeking your happiness. Just because it didn’t work the last time does not mean won’t.
Live with no regrets
Failure is never final because we will always fail in one way or another throughout our lives. Never regret decisions and or their outcomes. Failures are ways that did not work on your way to finding what does. When life blesses you with a lesson, never regret it.
Regrets prevent our happiness from manifesting in our daily lives. They do the opposite of being happy; they make you bitter. Trust me, bitter does not look good on you.
Change your perceptions of how you see things
Edison knew that failure was part of the process and understood that. He knew, just like when he learned to walk that he would fall (fail) before he walked. A lot. Just like you did. By changing the way you look at things, you can drastically improve your life.
Stop looking for an external source for your happiness. Happiness is a choice that leads to and action, that leads to a feeling. Be happy.
Forgive yourself for lying to yourself by thinking you could never be happy
Far too many times people make mistakes and hang on to them. We keep them in baggage that we carry around with us from circumstance to circumstance, never letting go. We tell ourselves that we keep them around to remind us not to do something again, but it only reminds us of what won’t work.
By carrying these memories around each day, we focus on them because they are in the front of our mind. What you focus on, you get. By addressing the issue and allowing yourself to be human, forgiving yourself for the issue is easier, and liberating.
I remember a friend who counseled me on an issue that I was holding over my head and could not seem to forgive myself over. His advice was “you make a lousy god because only a god has that much power’. Forgiving yourself is the first step to allowing your happiness back into your life.
Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.
 Goodreads.com/ Thomas A. Edison > Quotes/accessed 10/24/2020/ https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3091287.Thomas_A_Edison#:~:text=Thomas%20A.%20Edison%20quotes%20Showing%201-30%20of%2057,it%27s%20dressed%20in%20overalls%20and%20looks%20like%20work%E2%80%9D
If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain.
If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain.
Into every life rain will fall, of that it guarantees us. Some will have sprinkles; some will have torrential rain. In either case, If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain. To endure the storm, we must remember that it will eventually pass. Nothing will last forever in your life. Except the memory of the rainbow at the end.
It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.
Pain is a reminder to us we are alive. That we can still feel. That there is still blood flowing through our veins. It tells us something went wrong. It tells us something did not work. It is our greatest enemy, yet it is our greatest teacher.
When we first learned to walk, we fell. A lot. I remember watching my son fall for the first time when he discovered that he had the ability to stand on his wobbly legs. He hung onto the coffee table, pulled himself up, turned around and looked at me, and fell. Oh, how he cried.
It hurt trying something and failing. With an assuring tone in my voice and an encouraging gesture, he tried again. And fell again. Until he didn’t. each time he cried less. Each time he learned that with each attempt he learned something new. A different way to hang on, a different way to place his feet, a different way to stand. And then he stood. Proudly. As if he had accomplished the greatest feat known to man.
In those first steps, life taught my son that If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain. We forget that sometimes. It’s hard to see hope sometimes when all you can think about is surviving. It’s hard to see hope sometimes when all you can think about is the pain. It’s hard to see hope sometimes when all you can think about is……… Fill in the blank.
In my recently published book titled You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so I discuss If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain.
I discuss how where you are now is not based on where you have been. It’s where you choose to be now. Right now, you feel pain. Pain from a choice or decision either you made, or someone else made for you. In your pain, it’s easy to play the blame game and beat yourself up. If only I had not…… If only I did not…… If only.
Life doom’s those who do not study history to repeat it, however studying the past does not mean you park there for any length of time. You visit. You do not move in and camp on the couch. You have your own place to be and it is not in the past.
If you find something wrong with your life, fix it.
— Joseph Binning
In your pain, it is easy to feel like a failure. Peoples biggest fear, in every age group, is either failure, or a direct result of the feeling of failure. Yet every time you failed when you learned how to stand up made you smarter, stronger, and better.
In my chapter titled Regrets: Why They Are Harmful, I go over how we should live a life with no regrets. Living a life with no regrets has great responsibility attached to it. To live a life of no regrets means that you must contemplate every action you make in your life BEFORE you commit it. You can read more about Regrets here:https://www.josephbinning.com/regrets%e2%9c%b5why-theyre-harmful/
We, as people, make rash decisions without thinking of the potential consequences until after we have decided. This is a recipe for disaster. Think first, act second. Ask yourself if your action will serve your highest good. If the answer is no, don’t do it.
If You Want To see The Rainbow, You Must Endure the Rain means that you must change your perceptions of how you look at things.
If you change the way you look at things, you will change the way you see things.
— Joseph Binning
When you experienced the first pain of falling as you learned to walk you did not stop, you kept going. From it you learned. You became better. Lost money can be re-made. We can find love again. Just because your situation has brought you pain does not mean that it will not end. It will, in the end, make you smarter, stronger, and better.
This too shall end.
If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.