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From:
Joseph Binning
Subject: Happiness Is A Choice

Dear Friend,

Happiness is something we all strive for. Nobody wants to be miserable. Yet, we oftentimes get in our own way when it comes to being happy.

Did you know there is a difference between feeling happy and being truly happy? It’s true. There are things that can make you feel happy, temporarily. An alcoholic drink, a shopping trip and so forth. But to be truly happy, you must feel it from within, without those instant gratification items.

If you are not feeling true happiness. If you’re relying on someone else to make you happy, you need to grab my book.

Inside you’ll learn:

  •  How we make our lives hard by not choosing happiness

  •  Techniques for being more positive

  •  How to take responsibility for your own happiness

  •  How to stop relying on others to make you happy

  •  How to love without attachment

  • ….and More!

 

 

 

BUY IT TODAY:

You Matter, even if you don’t think so

Simply follow the link and start the journey today!

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If you are tired of being miserable and want more happiness in your life, get started right now. Just follow the link and get started living the life you were meant to live. Your new life starts today!

Here’s to Your Success,
Joseph Binning

Happiness Is A Choice

Copyright © JosephBinning.com. All Rights Reserved.

You Matter, even if you don't think so by Joseph Binning
You Matter, even if you don’t think so by Joseph Binning

As we enter the year 2020, in a world moving exponentially faster, we struggle more than ever to be seen, relevant, and valuable, to quiet the voices in our heads that make us want to give in—to stay alive long enough to make it to the finish line.  Yet, we live in an unlimited Universe.  Why do we press ourselves into such small boxes?  We need a truth powerful enough to lift us up and out of our darkness.

 

YOU MATTER author Joseph Binning takes our hand, guiding us to find our path, the path within where we discover the answers.   Who am I?  Am I worthy of the kind of love I desire?  Do I have the ability to do work that fulfills and inspires me?  Is there a deeper meaning for my life?  How can I serve?  With a vision even clearer than 2020, Joseph teaches us how to step out of our past and into our truth.  Shining the light on our greatness, Joseph is the voice cheering us on to our finish line, “Don’t give up, because YOU MATTER!…even if you don’t think so.”

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“The story of the human race is the story of men and woman selling themselves short”.

Abraham Lincoln

 

Love, we all seek it. We all need it. We all desire it. But to give yourself freely and Love someone, genuinely Love someone, you must first be Lovable. To be Lovable, you must Love yourself, first.

Loving yourself is an important factor to living well. It will influence who you spend your life with and with creating your memories, how you will choose your friends (like attracts like), how you will deal with the many problems life will throw at you, and your own well-being. How you see yourself is how you will treat, or mistreat, yourself.

But how do you Love yourself, first? Loving yourself first does not mean buying it, aka bribes. You cannot get it in a beauty salon or doctor’s office. There is no magic pill or external source that can make you genuinely Love yourself for more than a minute or a moment. There is no external relationship that can fix a sense of a non-Loving nature. These can satisfy you for a moment, but only a moment.

Loving yourself first is not a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It’s dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that validate our Love for ourselves, we accept our weaknesses, and our strengths, accept our short-comings, show compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning in this life, can live more in alignment in our life’s purpose and values, and can begin living a full life through our own efforts.

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I am reminded of a story of when Confucius met Lao Tzu.

Many think Lao Tzu to be the original author of the Tao Te Ching, which has gained worldwide influence since published, being the most published book in history, after the Holy Bible.

The influence of Confucius on Chinese culture over past centuries has also been considerable. His approach to life is opposite to life to that of Lao Tzu, as the following tale shows:

Lao Tzu and his teachings were always a concern of Confucius. It is said that once he went to see Lao Tzu. He was older than Lao Tzu, so he wanted Lao Tzu to behave with manners, as an old man expects. But Lao Tzu was sitting, and he would not even stand to greet him. He would not even say, “Sit down, sir,” and he didn’t pay much attention to him. Confucius became furious. What type of master is this? And he said, “Don’t you follow any manners?”

Lao Tzu said, “If you feel like sitting, you sit; if you feel like standing, you stand. Who am I to say anything about it? It is your life. I do not interfere.”

It shocked Confucius. Then he asked something about the superior man, the gentleman, and Lao Tzu laughed, and he said, “I have never come across any ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’. Men are men as trees are trees and everything takes part in the same existence. Nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish!” Confucius became very much afraid. And this man Lao Tzu had tremendous silence around him; he was a pool of silence.

When I read this tale, it rang true to me in so many ways. For many of my younger years I did not feel Lovable. I felt inferior. I did not feel “worthy” of Love by another, so I would follow unhealthy ways and make terrible choices in life.

When you realize nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish, and make the active choice to believe it you will stop comparing your life to that of others and you will stop building false scenarios of what you feel your life should look like in order for you to Love yourself.

Loving yourself first is a wonderful adventure. It’s like learning to do something well for the first time. Your confidence grows. You walk with a swagger. You realize that there is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish. You see your value and worth. You feel you are worthy of the Love you desire. The Love that you were born to share.

JosephBinning.com

 

Here are 12 suggestions to discover how to Love yourself first, so you may Love someone well:

  1. Give yourself a break

Stop with the negative self-talk in your mind and especially out loud. Every time you beat yourself up and criticize yourself, you affirm in your mind that you are not worthy. Stop it! I know of only one perfect and we are not it.

 

  1. Change your thoughts and change the outcome

Stop telling yourself that you will fail or that you are a failure. What the mind thinks, the mouth says. What the mouth says, the heart believes. What the heart believes, the body reacts to. Start seeing yourself as worthy and Lovable.

 

  1. Apologize to yourself for your past behaviors

You are human, so you will make mistakes. A poor decision does not make you a bad person. It only makes it a poor decision. If you hurt someone you deeply cared about, you wouldn’t withhold an apology to them.

 

  1. Be kind to yourself.

We all have an inner child we live with all our lives. When you berate a child they shut down, withdraw, and don’t grow healthily. When you make a mistake, and you will, don’t berate yourself. Learn from it, try not to repeat it, and do better. But be kind to yourself.

JosephBinning.com

  1. Be patient with yourself

It took me quite some time to change my inner thoughts of feeling unworthy of Love to realizing that I am the person who I was designed to be, not perfect, but perfect for me. Don’t expect change to happen overnight, but don’t let yourself take forever either. Set healthy expectations and bring yourself along at a steady pace.

 

 

 

  1. Remind yourself you are worthy

Just as you used to beat yourself up when you made a mistake, remind yourself when you did something good.  Praise,  recognition, and to be “seen” is something we all need and desire. Tell yourself regularly that you are worthy, worthy of Love, worthy of kindness, worthy of a fulfilling life.

 

  1. Allow others to support you

Tell your friends and Loved ones what you are doing, how you are creating a new you. Ask them for support. Find support groups, read books, subscribe to blogs that speak to this. Find like-minded people who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear, which will help you grow as a person and help you see the exceptional person you really are.

 

  1. Care for yourself as you care for other Loved ones

Self-care is the principal cause of a healthy self-esteem and sense of self. You cannot care for others if you don’t train yourself to care for yourself first.

 

  1. Nurture your body-temple

Your body is your temple, stop treating it like a garage, its holy, its sacred, its blessed, and it’s a reflection of you. What do you do with the old things you don’t care for? You stick it in a box and stuff it in the garage and forget about it. Polish it, clean it, give it what it needs to flourish.

 

  1. Make Positive self-talk a regular part of your day

When you wake up ask the man, women, or child you see in the mirror each day if they are doing the best they can, to be the best human they can. Hold them accountable. They will doubt. When they do, remind them you Love them, and they are worthy of your Love. Say it until they believe it. They will thank you for it.

JosephBinning.com

  1. Enjoy yourself

Learn to enjoy your own company. Being alone gives you time to spend, bond, and appreciate your new best friend. We develop Love with face time, intimate times, shared moments, not distance. Learn to be still and remind yourself you are worthy of your time, because you are worthy of being Loved.

 

  1. Love yourself first

I once knew someone who could care so much for others but could not care for themselves. That person was me. Do not let it be you.

 

You are worthy of Love because you are Love.

 

You might also like this:  DON’T WAIT TO FIND OUT YOU ARE DYING BEFORE YOU START LIVING

And this one: WHAT I LEARNED FROM BEING STUCK AND FROZEN

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

JosephBinning.com

 

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“YOUR opinion of ME is none of MY business!”

— Joseph Binning

 

 

Self-Image is the mental picture one has of oneself, of a kind resistant to change, that depicts, not only details available to aim investigation by others (height, weight, hair color, etc.), but also items that you have learned by the person about themselves, either from personal experiences, or by internalizing the judgments of others.  — Wikipedia

 

Your self-image comprises four mental pictures:

  1. Physical appearance.
  2. Worth because of what you learned through life experiences.
  3. Goodness, because of internalizing the judgments, thoughts, and views of others about you.
  4. Your total self, because of personal beliefs, perceptions, and illusions you have about yourself.

 

So the question I’m asking you is, how do you picture yourself?  How do you know if the image you see of you is the real you?  One simple way to find an individual’s self-image is by asking yourself, “What do you believe other people’s opinions are of you?  How do you think others see you?”

 

Ask yourself if what you do, where you go, what you say, or how you act is to be a part of or having a sense of belonging to something?  Do you do these because they feed your soul?  Do you Love because you need to be Love?  Or, do you Love because you need to Love?

 

Is your sense of happiness, belonging, or worth only made by someone else’s attention, protection, support, or affection? Are you are seeking validation that you are lovable and worthy of loving from things and people outside of you?  Do you base your feelings on fitting in or receiving attention, acceptance, approval, or praise from someone, or something outside of you? If so, you have not identified and integrated your sense of self, your self-value. News flash: you are not what you do, who you do it for, who you are with, how, when, where you fit in, or what possessions surround you.  You are none of that.

 

How do you know you have not yet identified or integrated a strong sense of self?

If something breaks, if you don’t accomplish something, or if I make a negative comment, would you experience a sense of feeling lower, loss, anger, or even depression. Here’s an example: If I became angry and called you a name, do you think you would you take it personal?  Let’s be crazy for a moment and pretend that I called you an ugly chair. Would it offend you?

What if I took it further and told you you were the most uncomfortable seat I’d ever experienced? What if I told you how weak your legs were? That your back is rickety, you’re painted an ugly color? Or that you should just put yourself out of your misery and take yourself to the dumpster? It’s crazy, I know.  But I am calling you something you are not or telling you my perception of you. Did you get offended because you believed it?

Probably not. Why? Because it’s not true. You are not a chair; you are human.

 

You put energy and emotion and thought into others’ opinions. 

When someone, whose respect, approval, attention, or Love is something you want or need, calls you foolish or ignorant, or ignores you, do you have a sense of feeling lower, angry, or depressed.  Why?  Because you want them to approve of you and accept you and talk well of you.  Why?  Because you believe what they believe of you is true!

 

My perception of you is none of your business. 

People’s perception of you is not complete or correct.  People’s opinion of you doesn’t decide your value. No one’s opinion of you determines your truth.

Your opinion of you is what determines your value and truth, and only you are in control of creating that.

Words have power only if you allow them 

How can someone say something to you, you know isn’t true aka the chair example, but believe it? By not knowing who you are. When you define yourself by the words and decisions of others and don’t take the time and dedication to focus and discover the truth of who you are for yourself, you will be forever sensitive to, and weakened by the words, opinions, and actions of others.  Empower yourself by knowing who you are, what you love, what you want, what you can do, and why you are here.

 

Take this Self-Image Assessment test

Answer the following questions True or False:

  1. Is my glass empty?
  2. I find I apologize for things, or say, “Sorry.”
  3. Do I often hear myself telling myself “I should” be doing this or that?
  4. I find I have a habit of criticizing myself.
  5. Does what other people think about me affects the way I think about myself.
  6. I relive or over analyze my mistakes.
  7. Do you tell yourself I think I have let people who care about me down?
  8. It seems I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
  9. Do I believe a partial failure equals a complete failure, and I make do it a lot?
  10. I bend over backwards to please people.
  11. I don’t rarely show my emotions.
  12. I’m not sure I’ve done a good job until someone tells me whether I have.
  13. If I don’t do as well at something as others, it’s because I have to try harder than others.
  14. I believe if I can’t do something well, I won’t do it.

 

Tally your responses by giving yourself one (1) point for every statement that you answered True.

Results

0-4          You have a positive way of thinking and a positive self-image of yourself. Great job!

5-9          You struggle with negative emotions. Review your good qualities every day.

10-14      You are judgmental of yourself. Challenge yourself to change your way of thinking.

 

Each of you has a story.

You compose your own story of many beliefs and experiences, including the four self-images each of you has see as ourselves.  Your story dictates how you see yourself. Someone was mean and never apologized, so your hurt feelings turn into resentment, which turns into a wound you carry, which causes you to act mean to others.  You don’t accept the feeling of being forgiven for something you’re ashamed of, so you hold back forgiveness for others.  You gave you the message you were not worthy, so you don’t expect the feeling of being worthy, and you allow others to ignore, condemn, use, or abuse you. 

Your minds create negative chatter.

The problem with having a story based on false information is that the mind tells you what to believe and what to listen to. As you listen, you create your realities, based on your mind chatter, your story, and your self-image.

When you create this reality that says: My life looks like this or: or my life should look like this: or I deserve treatment such as this, you end up not liking yourselves for being mean to others, for holding back forgiveness, for allowing others to mistreat or ignore you.  You mistreat yourself, hold back your own emotional nourishment, and put yourself last.  You know you want to change, but don’t know how, because you’re conditioned to believe this story that dictates whether you are deserving of feeling better.

 

When you believe that this reality you created is how life is.  

When you’re not aware that you have created this, your life becomes an illusion. Your distorted self-image has been growing for so many years it has become entwined into every part of your being, and you cannot see that it is not real, and that it is not a true reflection of who you are.

 

What is the ultimate and only reason we don’t have a correct, strong, and high self-image? 

FEAR.

Fear keeps us frozen (see my post titled What I Learned From Being Stuck and Frozen and why you need to read this) sometimes for years—sometimes entire lifetimes. Here’s what I mean by fear.

  • The Fear of Disappointing Someone
  • Fear of Failing
  • The Fear of Being Alone
  • Fear of Being Wrong
  • The Fear of Dying
  • Fear of Making the Wrong Choice
  • The Fear of Being Hurt
  • Fear of Making a Mistake
  • The Fear of Feeling Not Good Enough, Smart Enough, Pretty or Handsome Enough, Strong Enough, Capable Enough, Exciting Enough
  • Fear of Not Being Seen
  • The Fear of Not Being Chosen
  • Fear of Being Thought Strange
  • The Fear of Falling

 

You might tell yourself that you are not afraid; you are just a caring, realistic, concerned, smart, cautious, or even an intentional person.  But if any of these self-defined characteristics cause you to do things other than what you want to, they are running you.  They are inward drivers dictating your behaviors.

 

Why are you so afraid—aka worried, thoughtful, realistic, concerned, smart, cautious? 

Most of your conditioning is from birth, by everyone who has had an influence on you, causing you to believe that you are not capable, deserving, self-equipped, or powerful on your own and that you may need acceptance, protection, and to be molded and directed.  This false set of beliefs has hypnotized you into a crippling amnesia that has caused you to forget who you are. (Read my post on Mediocrity * not the life you’re here for, for more.)

 

Despite what life may have taught you, you cannot find the truth outside of yourself, in someone else, or by applying any external remedy. You cannot solve an internal distortion with an external action. No vacation, medicine, food, job, therapy, or relationship can fix a distorted view of yourself and your reality.

 

How to find your true Self by sitting, with just your Self.  

The way to get to know who you really are is by taking time by yourself, getting to know your Self.  Get to know the parts of the Real You that has always been—the innocent, wonder-filled, joy-seeking fresh Being that is still You, the You who believed in possibility, the You who dreamed and wished and believed, the You who explored and created and pretended. The who made imaginary houses, travels, and worlds.  Your true SELF has no limits and is unstoppable.

 

“Humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit in a room alone.”

— Blaise Pascal, French Philosopher

The true You is still in you, and so much more. 

Get to know the new parts you haven’t taken time to know yet or integrate—the parts of You-you are becoming, the parts of you that have grown, developed, clarified, and evolved into, and the parts you are visioning for yourself. How do you see your true self? By taking time alone, separating your true Self from everyone else to find out who you are contrary to the world’s opinions, illusions, and dictations.  That is the path to discovering every wonderful, unique, and minute detail that makes you YOU.

 

You can create what you wish to believe in concerning yourself, if you Choose.  

Choose in this now moment, and from this moment forward, to create a new reality for yourself.  When something doesn’t end up the way you wanted it to, or thought it should, don’t say, “This always happens to me,” instead ask yourself, “How does this affect me? Who am I being with this thinking?  Is this me?  Am I acting like the person I want to be?  How am I feeling scared, angry, controlled, hurt, wrong, not good enough? How do I want to act?  What new learning am I getting from this thinking?  What outcome do I want? How can I create my outcome? How can I own this now moment?  Ask yourself what is a new way or idea of thinking right now?  How do I want to be in this moment?”

 

How to free yourself from these fears that affect your actions, routine, thoughts, behavior, body, mood, emotions, freedom.

 

As you lay in bed at night, before you go to sleep, begin a habit of one or more of these practices to own the good in your Self:

  • Focus on what went right today.  What went well with it? What felt good?  Only good.  Don’t do the “High and Low” game.  Don’t focus on what went wrong.  Only do the high.  What did you learn or discover?
  • Go to a place inside of you that feels gratitude for today, but not for things.  Things are fleeting. Focus on moments.  Moments can stay in the mind and heart forever.  Your moments belong only to you.
  • Create a victory journal and write your victories of the day, great and small. When you’re feeling low, re-read the victories and relive them. Remind yourself of your ability to have them.
  • As you lay awaiting sleep, pay close attention to what you let into your thoughts. Remember, a tire does not go flat all at once. It happens slowly. Thoughts are similar. They gather momentum, no matter which way they go.  Refocus your thoughts toward the positive, appreciative, reflective, to keep them from going sour. Fall asleep with the thoughts of the good in our mind.

 

Remember to stand on the highest place in your story, not on the bottom.

From the moment you make the choice to create a new reality for your Self, you are no longer a victim. Begin small or big, here or there.  It matters not where.  Just begin.  The Tao Te Ching says, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Take the first step, and then the next, and the next.  It’s Amazing how far you will go and how fast you will grow.

From this day forward, live your life by two rules:

  1. No Regrets. Think about everything you do, and the potential consequences good or bad, BEFORE you do them. Then own them.

  2. Always remember my saying, “Your opinion of Me is none of MY business.”

Do not be a prisoner of other people’s opinions of you. When they say something to you you know is not true (remember the chair example) your new answer should be “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Stand tall in YOUR truth. Your NEW story.

 

The Universe made only one of you.  

There is only one You and You are Perfect.  The world needs your uniqueness, but only when you are being you, not someone else.  It’s your self-image that you are creating, not a duplicate of someone else.

Life rewards the brave, bold, and clear minded. Embrace who you are, with no fear.

Be who you are boldly.  Always be bold in expressing who you are.

You have boldness, bravery, and clarity in you.

Remember, you were born with it.

Now be Great!