Want more happiness in your life?

Learn How to Live a Happy Life & Approach Each Day with a Positive Attitude.

Pick Up This Book Now:

You Matter, even if you don’t think so

Joseph Binning
Subject: Happiness Is A Choice

Dear Friend,

Happiness is something we all strive for. Nobody wants to be miserable. Yet, we oftentimes get in our own way when it comes to being happy.

Did you know there is a difference between feeling happy and being truly happy? It’s true. There are things that can make you feel happy, temporarily. An alcoholic drink, a shopping trip and so forth. But to be truly happy, you must feel it from within, without those instant gratification items.

If you are not feeling true happiness. If you’re relying on someone else to make you happy, you need to grab my book.

Inside you’ll learn:

  •  How we make our lives hard by not choosing happiness

  •  Techniques for being more positive

  •  How to take responsibility for your own happiness

  •  How to stop relying on others to make you happy

  •  How to love without attachment

  • ….and More!





You Matter, even if you don’t think so

Simply follow the link and start the journey today!

Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

If you are tired of being miserable and want more happiness in your life, get started right now. Just follow the link and get started living the life you were meant to live. Your new life starts today!

Here’s to Your Success,
Joseph Binning

Happiness Is A Choice

Copyright © JosephBinning.com. All Rights Reserved.

You Matter, even if you don't think so by Joseph Binning
You Matter, even if you don’t think so by Joseph Binning

As we enter the year 2020, in a world moving exponentially faster, we struggle more than ever to be seen, relevant, and valuable, to quiet the voices in our heads that make us want to give in—to stay alive long enough to make it to the finish line.  Yet, we live in an unlimited Universe.  Why do we press ourselves into such small boxes?  We need a truth powerful enough to lift us up and out of our darkness.


YOU MATTER author Joseph Binning takes our hand, guiding us to find our path, the path within where we discover the answers.   Who am I?  Am I worthy of the kind of love I desire?  Do I have the ability to do work that fulfills and inspires me?  Is there a deeper meaning for my life?  How can I serve?  With a vision even clearer than 2020, Joseph teaches us how to step out of our past and into our truth.  Shining the light on our greatness, Joseph is the voice cheering us on to our finish line, “Don’t give up, because YOU MATTER!…even if you don’t think so.”

Buy now on Amazon

 “I trust you” is a better compliment than “I love you” because you may not always trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust…

-Joseph Binning

Love, we all seek it. We all need it. We all desire it. Lasting, fulfilling Love. But to give yourself to another, fully and freely give them all of you, the most important ingredient in Love, is Trust.

Trust is one of the most crucial building blocks of becoming emotionally intimate with another person. It is fundamental for a healthy, close relationship. The building of trust takes time, patience, and work to establish it.

Merriam-Webster defines trust, the verb, as;

  1. to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of
  2. to place confidence in: rely on.

Trust means trusting yourself, your own judgments, and trusting others. Trust is the foundation for any relationship. Without it, the relationship will not last. Lack of trust is the main reason relationships fall apart.


Because, if you don’t have trust, it means you won’t feel secure with your partner. Trust means you can rely on your partner, can confide in them, and feel safe with them.

When mistrust comes in, loves goes out.

 -Irish proverb

But we must earn trust. It takes time. It’s not automatic. It is essential to a lasting love. The good news–with effort, we can build trust.  Even if there have been issues with trust in your relationship, you can change and build a trusting, secure connection. The first step is to recognizes if you have trust issues in your relationship and then work to build trust and improve your relationship.

We fill the beginning with long, laughter-filled dates and passionate first kisses. Afterwards might bring moments filled with doubt—maybe even fear—about your budding romance and where it is going might creep in. People bring all kinds of baggage with them when they enter a new relationship, and a lack of trust can weigh the union down before it even gets started.

We’re all carrying our pasts around with us: Whether we’re scarred by an unfaithful partner from a previous relationship or we’re working through a childhood trauma, learning to trust a new partner and/or moving past old trust issues can be tough. And getting your partner to trust you is no simple task.

Why Trust is vital in a relationship

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.

 -Joseph Binning

In a relationship you cannot give all of yourself to someone you cannot trust.

In a lasting relationship you place your heart in someone else’s hands, freely, without hesitation, and you give all of it. It is a scared rite of passage. Without trust, this is not possible.

Trust promotes healing

I have always said that in a relationship you will either someone will misunderstand you or you will be misunderstood. The trick is to figure out which one it is. In either case, someone stands the chance of getting hurt. Lack of trust will prevent the other person from seeking relief from the pain, either from causing the pain, or receiving the pain. If you can trust that the other person will listen to you, and receive what you said, trust will flourish.

Trust breeds hope

Hope is a powerful thing. If your partner trusts you, there is always hope that your relationship can survive the storms of life. Trust that you won’t leave. Trust that you will listen, intending to hear what you have to say. Trust that they will stand beside you.

Trust keeps your emotions in check

Healthy trust in a relationship will prevent those thoughts in your head of unfaithfulness if your partner doesn’t answer the phone. Trust will prevent the mind from racing out of control when you are not with your partner. Trust will allow you to be honest and open with your partner when you have an issue to discuss.

Trust sets you free

Trusting your partner and being trusted by your partner gives you the freedom to not need to explain your actions and decisions to your partner. It allows you to have personal space without having to worry and allows you to be fully present wherever you are.

For trust to flourish, you must first be trustable

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

–Ernest Hemingway


For trust to flourish, we must consistently earn trust.

Each time you earn your partner’s trust by showing them you are trustworthy, you put reserves in your emotional savings account. We draw from this account when situations arise that might otherwise cause doubt. Earning your partner’s trust will create security in your partner, which brings trust to the relationship.

Live with a high level of integrity.

Integrity creates a high level of trust in your partner because they can come to expect how you will act or react in certain situations. When your partner knows that you will do the right thing even when no one is around creates a powerful level of trust in any relationship, but especially with your partner.

Look them in the eyes

Make eye contact. When you speak to your partner, fix your eyes on them, and them only. Avoid the distractions. Make them feel as if they were/are the only ones in the room, no matter where you are. Direct eye contact tells them they matter to you in that moment. Teaching them how important they are to you will build a powerful bond and create a powerful level of trust.

Always be honest

Be yourself always. Never try to be someone or something else, especially when you are together. If something offends you, say so. If your mad, say so lovingly. If something makes you happy, say so. Don’t hide your feeling for any reason. Allow them to trust that they know the real you.

Always show respect

Respect goes a long way. Showing someone the respect they do or don’t deserve makes you the better person and builds trust that you will always act with honor. Honor the relationship and respect the person.


I’m not upset that you lied to me; I’m upset from now on, I can’t believe you.

–Friedrich Nietzsche

We can liken trust to oil in a lamp. Without it, the fire in your relationship won’t remain burning. And just as oil helps keep a machine working efficiently, trust helps make sure your relationship keeps on working and moving in the right direction. Trust, like oil, should be clean and free of debris. To replenish trust in your relationship, like oil, you need to keep it free from debris which leads to doubt. You can do it by choosing to trust and be trustworthy daily. As soon as you wake up, make a conscious decision to trust and not doubt. Eventually, trusting will become part of your system and one that you won’t have to force yourself into doing.

Trust is the key component of every relationship and should be an intricate part of your relationship. Value it, enjoy it, but protect it, and your relationship will be as strong as a fortress built on a hill.




If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here: Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

You Matter, even if you don't think so


We base relationships on four principles:

Respect, Understanding, Acceptance, Appreciation

— Mahatma Gandhi


Be it romantic, familial, friendly, physical, emotional, creative, business, social, communal, or spiritual, we base every relationship on four principles: respect, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation.


According to one of the many books I have read on this subject, since the time of Adam and Eve, men and women have struggled with taking responsibility for the way we regard, treat, and behave in our relationships.  When God asked Eve why she ate of the fruit, she answered that the snake had tricked her. When God asked Adam why he ate of the fruit, he answered that the woman (Eve) had tricked him?  When a relationship is struggling, it is typical for each partner to find fault in the other partner.  However, the method of discerning which person needs to take more responsibility in a struggling relationship is simple.  It is the person who complains.


I once knew a person who cared so much for others but could not care for himself.

That person was me. 

— Joseph Binning


For me, relationship was, are, and always have been, one of the most difficult things to understand and navigate.  I’ve struggled with them all of my life, so you might imagine how surprised I was when I found myself inspired to write about them!  I didn’t have much of a relationship with my father, because of his removal from my life at an early age (see my post What I Learned From Being Stuck And Frozen, And Why You Need To Read This).  My only learning in how to be in a relationship came in the first nine years of my life before he left.  That learning came in the form of yelling and screaming to settle arguments, which usually lead to broken dishes.


Conflict resolution and fostering a healthy relationship was not a model I was privy to.  In much of my adulthood, I based the success of my intimate relationships on how much sex we had. My mindset that I believed was, If we just have sex, we’ll become closer.  Sex will solve all our problems.  If we have a lot of sex, we’re fantastic!  Although my childhood experiences might excuse my inability to create and nourish my own healthy relationships, they shouldn’t.


It is our primary responsibility to create a healthy relationship with ourselves if we want to have a healthy relationship with anyone else.


That being said, for my learning, I had to look to others who had a better understanding of what a healthy intimate relationship is, so I could pass this tidbit of guidance on to you.


Intimacy and sex are two different things.  Intimacy starts with our deep, respectful, nurturing, and honest relationship with, and Love for, ourselves.  If we have that as our foundation, we can create the same with others. The truth is: if we have more intimacy with ourselves and our relationships, we will be more intimate.



A definition of Love: happiness that the other person exists.

—Walter Riso

Based on the findings of authors like Walter Riso and Jorge Bucay, the highest value of any relationship lies in the importance of each partner showing gratitude for the gestures of care and affection made toward one another. Neither person takes the partner or the gestures, for granted, but shows recognition and appreciation for them.  In this mutual recognition, appreciation, and gesturing, each partner is co-creating, experiencing, and enjoying a full, healthy Love, or rewarding satisfaction, if referring to less intimate relationships.


In reading Rios’s quote, I noticed that it made no reference to “me” or “I” am receiving anything, other than a feeling of happiness within me, created by my appreciation that my partner exists.


As I grew into adulthood, I fell in Love many times. I attracted and fell in Love mostly with mother figures, women who would take care of me like a mother would take care of her child because I was not taking care of myself. I acted like a man child.  I discovered years later that it was not possible to have a healthy sexual relationship with a mother figure.


When a man acts like a child in a relationship, it forces the woman to act like his mother. The problem with that is, you can’t sleep with your mother!
Joseph Binning


Without consciously knowing it, each of us prevented me from growing up and being the man, I needed to be—and the man they needed me to be, to receive the Love we both deserved. The problem which I realized many years later was that I needed to be Loved verses the desire of wanting to be Loved.  I hadn’t yet learned about, or integrated, the foundational principle of relationships:


You can’t have a healthy relationship unless you are healthy.


Most women are emotional, feeling-oriented beings.  Most men are rational, action-oriented beings. We have been designed in these ways to bring balance into our relationships, to complement one another. A man will trample on a flower.  A woman will notice its beauty and share it, so that the man can see it and come to appreciate it.  The man will remove its thorns before the woman touches it to protect her safety, beauty, and happiness. Balance is the natural order.

The Taoists refer to this as Yin Yang. Yin Yang is the universal balance that embodies the Harmony of opposites.

But, in every relationship, balance comes with responsibilities.  If something is not working, it is the responsibility of both partners to share in working out the solution, though not necessarily in equal parts.  Sharing is something that becomes easier over the long run. It’s not about taking responsibility for all the elements of every problem or splitting them all fifty-fifty.  It’s more about finding a natural balance in our abilities and strengths to care for and nurture the relationship, while always committing to keep the channel of communication and appreciation open.


To share these responsibilities, communication plays a major, fundamental role in the relationship. We can’t make a commitment, take on a responsibility, or reach any kind of agreement without it. We have to be honest and tell the other person what we can and cannot do. It’s a process, with various sub-processes, of continual growth that will work for the benefit of the relationship, and for the benefit of each individual within the relationship, if their Love is healthy.



I’ve always thought the most beautiful response to ‘I Love you’ is: ‘And I can feel your Love.’


— Jorge Bucay



I found an article that really resonated with me on the website Exploring Your Mind that lists the “7 Pillars of Healthy Love:”



  • Respect


Healthy Love is more about quality than quantity. Loving a lot doesn’t mean loving well. Loving well implies respecting, trusting, being honest and mutually supportive, balancing the giving and receiving, maintaining separate identities, maintaining individual sources of interest and happiness, and communicating effectively.  Having self-respect and showing respect for the other person are equally important in the foundation of a healthy relationship.


  • Trust

Trust is not having to verify everything the other person does and says. It’s feeling certain and relaxed in your belief that the other person will stay committed and willing to share both the good moments and the challenging moments.  Trust is also believing in the relationship’s value and its ability to thrive.


  • Honesty

Honesty is being sincere about our feelings, needs, and wants—with ourselves, and with the other person. Being honest with ourselves requires self-inventory.  There can be no sincere and complete exchange for it. This includes being confident that our individual desires, needs, and behaviors don’t violate our partner’s rights.


  • Support

It’s important for each partner to show support for the other, being able to differentiate our needs and happiness from the other person’s needs and happiness, and supporting their growth, in all areas.  Support doesn’t always require action or even words.  Many times, it is non-verbal—a look, a hug, a wink, a thumbs up, a clap, a high five, a kiss, or just showing up.


  • Equality


Every healthy relationship needs a balance between giving and receiving, in which both partners have a responsibility to care for the relationship. Reciprocity is the basis of a healthy, thriving Love. Effective relationships solidified by exchange. When we give Love, we expect Love. When we exchange generosity, we feel a stronger bond of Love.


  • Personal Identity

It’s imperative to maintain our individual, separate identities so that each partner can be all he or she can be. Practicing individualism, where each person keeps self-care, interests, and self-Love alive, is a responsibility each person has to him/herself and his or her partner.  This enables each partner to enter, and continue through the relationship, feeling complete, healthy, and happy already, not needing to feel completed”, healthy, or happy by the relationship, or the partner.


  • Good Communication

Communication is paramount in any relationship.  When we’re trying to achieve a healthy partnership, it’s necessary to have good sending and receiving communication skills, for the basic conversation, and when expressing needs, desires, and gratitude, and in discussions and negotiations. A relationship is two people making many, but not all, decisions together and many times, but not always, sharing a point of view. For a couple to agree, it’s vital to have a calm, open, free, and trust-filled conversation.


Here is an exercise to help you identify who you Love, what you Love about your relationships, and why you Love them.


Take a sheet of paper and make two lengthwise columns. On top of the right column, write “Love.”  On the top of the left column, write “Reason.”  Make a list of all the people you Love and everything you Love about your relationships.  Next to that list, write the reasons you Love them.  Take your time with this. Don’t rush it. Really contemplate it.  After you’ve completed the lists, come back to this page and read the rest of this exercise—don’t read it now.  Wait until you’ve finished writing your lists.  Don’t cheat. Now, stop reading and start your lists.


Later, after you’ve completed your lists:


Read each Love and reason, one at a time, and if the reason centers on you, write “Superficial” next to it.  If it centers on the other person, write “Meaningful” next to it.  Now, look at the people and things you listed that you marked “Superficial” and note any realizations, thoughts, or feelings that come up in you.


Last, examine the names of the people you listed, particularly the order you listed them in.  Note any realizations, thoughts, or feelings that come up in you.


Did you list yourself?  If so, where on the list?  If not, why?  Note any realizations, thoughts, or feelings that come up in you.


To Love someone, you must Love yourself first.  If you have not come to Love, value, and nurture yourself, you have no capacity to do that for another.


Practicing the seven pillars is not a foolproof guarantee of a couple’s successful union or future, but if Love and health are there, these will support a healthy, dignified, fun, growth-oriented, and inspired union for both partners.



Your first job is to work on yourself.  The greatest thing you can do for another human being

is to get your own house in order and find your true spiritual heart.


–Ram Dass