“The story of the human race is the story of men and woman selling themselves short”.

Abraham Lincoln

 

Love, we all seek it. We all need it. We all desire it. But to give yourself freely and Love someone, genuinely Love someone, you must first be Lovable. To be Lovable, you must Love yourself, first.

Loving yourself is an important factor to living well. It will influence who you spend your life with and with creating your memories, how you will choose your friends (like attracts like), how you will deal with the many problems life will throw at you, and your own well-being. How you see yourself is how you will treat, or mistreat, yourself.

But how do you Love yourself, first? Loving yourself first does not mean buying it, aka bribes. You cannot get it in a beauty salon or doctor’s office. There is no magic pill or external source that can make you genuinely Love yourself for more than a minute or a moment. There is no external relationship that can fix a sense of a non-Loving nature. These can satisfy you for a moment, but only a moment.

Loving yourself first is not a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It’s dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that validate our Love for ourselves, we accept our weaknesses, and our strengths, accept our short-comings, show compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning in this life, can live more in alignment in our life’s purpose and values, and can begin living a full life through our own efforts.

I am reminded of a story of when Confucius met Lao Tzu.

Many think Lao Tzu to be the original author of the Tao Te Ching, which has gained worldwide influence since published, being the most published book in history, after the Holy Bible.

The influence of Confucius on Chinese culture over past centuries has also been considerable. His approach to life is opposite to life to that of Lao Tzu, as the following tale shows:

Lao Tzu and his teachings were always a concern of Confucius. It is said that once he went to see Lao Tzu. He was older than Lao Tzu, so he wanted Lao Tzu to behave with manners, as an old man expects. But Lao Tzu was sitting, and he would not even stand to greet him. He would not even say, “Sit down, sir,” and he didn’t pay much attention to him. Confucius became furious. What type of master is this? And he said, “Don’t you follow any manners?”

Lao Tzu said, “If you feel like sitting, you sit; if you feel like standing, you stand. Who am I to say anything about it? It is your life. I do not interfere.”

It shocked Confucius. Then he asked something about the superior man, the gentleman, and Lao Tzu laughed, and he said, “I have never come across any ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’. Men are men as trees are trees and everything takes part in the same existence. Nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish!” Confucius became very much afraid. And this man Lao Tzu had tremendous silence around him; he was a pool of silence.

When I read this tale, it rang true to me in so many ways. For many of my younger years I did not feel Lovable. I felt inferior. I did not feel “worthy” of Love by another, so I would follow unhealthy ways and make terrible choices in life.

When you realize nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish, and make the active choice to believe it you will stop comparing your life to that of others and you will stop building false scenarios of what you feel your life should look like in order for you to Love yourself.

Loving yourself first is a wonderful adventure. It’s like learning to do something well for the first time. Your confidence grows. You walk with a swagger. You realize that there is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish. You see your value and worth. You feel you are worthy of the Love you desire. The Love that you were born to share.

JosephBinning.com

 

Here are 12 suggestions to discover how to Love yourself first, so you may Love someone well:

  1. Give yourself a break

Stop with the negative self-talk in your mind and especially out loud. Every time you beat yourself up and criticize yourself, you affirm in your mind that you are not worthy. Stop it! I know of only one perfect and we are not it.

 

  1. Change your thoughts and change the outcome

Stop telling yourself that you will fail or that you are a failure. What the mind thinks, the mouth says. What the mouth says, the heart believes. What the heart believes, the body reacts to. Start seeing yourself as worthy and Lovable.

 

  1. Apologize to yourself for your past behaviors

You are human, so you will make mistakes. A poor decision does not make you a bad person. It only makes it a poor decision. If you hurt someone you deeply cared about, you wouldn’t withhold an apology to them.

 

  1. Be kind to yourself.

We all have an inner child we live with all our lives. When you berate a child they shut down, withdraw, and don’t grow healthily. When you make a mistake, and you will, don’t berate yourself. Learn from it, try not to repeat it, and do better. But be kind to yourself.

JosephBinning.com

  1. Be patient with yourself

It took me quite some time to change my inner thoughts of feeling unworthy of Love to realizing that I am the person who I was designed to be, not perfect, but perfect for me. Don’t expect change to happen overnight, but don’t let yourself take forever either. Set healthy expectations and bring yourself along at a steady pace.

 

 

 

  1. Remind yourself you are worthy

Just as you used to beat yourself up when you made a mistake, remind yourself when you did something good.  Praise,  recognition, and to be “seen” is something we all need and desire. Tell yourself regularly that you are worthy, worthy of Love, worthy of kindness, worthy of a fulfilling life.

 

  1. Allow others to support you

Tell your friends and Loved ones what you are doing, how you are creating a new you. Ask them for support. Find support groups, read books, subscribe to blogs that speak to this. Find like-minded people who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear, which will help you grow as a person and help you see the exceptional person you really are.

 

  1. Care for yourself as you care for other Loved ones

Self-care is the principal cause of a healthy self-esteem and sense of self. You cannot care for others if you don’t train yourself to care for yourself first.

 

  1. Nurture your body-temple

Your body is your temple, stop treating it like a garage, its holy, its sacred, its blessed, and it’s a reflection of you. What do you do with the old things you don’t care for? You stick it in a box and stuff it in the garage and forget about it. Polish it, clean it, give it what it needs to flourish.

 

  1. Make Positive self-talk a regular part of your day

When you wake up ask the man, women, or child you see in the mirror each day if they are doing the best they can, to be the best human they can. Hold them accountable. They will doubt. When they do, remind them you Love them, and they are worthy of your Love. Say it until they believe it. They will thank you for it.

JosephBinning.com

  1. Enjoy yourself

Learn to enjoy your own company. Being alone gives you time to spend, bond, and appreciate your new best friend. We develop Love with face time, intimate times, shared moments, not distance. Learn to be still and remind yourself you are worthy of your time, because you are worthy of being Loved.

 

  1. Love yourself first

I once knew someone who could care so much for others but could not care for themselves. That person was me. Do not let it be you.

 

You are worthy of Love because you are Love.

 

You might also like this:  DON’T WAIT TO FIND OUT YOU ARE DYING BEFORE YOU START LIVING

And this one: WHAT I LEARNED FROM BEING STUCK AND FROZEN

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

JosephBinning.com

 

Do you believe that you are here for a reason?

Do you know the value of your life?

Do you feel a clear and inspired a sense of purpose?

Do you feel it daily, sometimes, or rarely?

Do you feel it more in your personal life, or your work life, or both?

Do you feel it in your relationships?

Do you have a vague sense that there is a purpose to everything, but you’re not sure about it all?

 

YOUR PURPOSE A SEVEN-DAY JOURNEY TO DISCOVERING:

 

  • What It Means
  • What Yours Is
  • How to Discover It
  • How to Live It
  • What It Does for You

 

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature

is that all of us put off living?

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon

 instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.

 

— Dale Carnegie

 

 

 

The oldest question in the known and unknown world is: “Why am I here, and what am I here to do in contribution to mankind?”  

 

Keywords:  WhyWhatContributionMankind.

 

To answer this question, we need to understand what purpose means and how to find it.

 

Purpose inspires us to get out of bed, instead of rolling over, pushing the sleep button, or going back to sleep.  I’m not talking about our jobs.  I’m talking about our inside motivation to live, focus, be happy, and get excited.

 

 

blankSome believe that the reason we get out of bed is to go to work, because our jobs need us. Some disillusion themselves by claiming that they Love their jobs, when they don’t. If their colleagues don’t like the way they dress, they change their outfits. If their words lack approval or praise, they change what they say.  If the time they spend on any task is too long, they take shortcuts, secretly delegate, or lie.  We expect and require them to do whatever we want. Even though it might feel uncomfortable, unfair, unjust, or unproductive.  They do it.

Does any of this feel familiar?

Keeping our jobs to keep a guaranteed source of money is one of the top reasons we will settle, sacrifice, or do things we don’t want to do. We do them to please someone else, to benefit someone else. We do them to fit in. We do them for a paycheck. We do them for benefits. We do them for vacations. We may believe that our purpose for keeping our jobs is to pay the bills, to provide for our lives and our family.  Providing for our living and material needs is vital.  Taking care of our families is important, honorable, and often necessary.  However, none of these is our deeper purpose for being here.

 

If you think our purpose is getting through life, making enough money to retire, being good enough, proving ourselves, being accepted and included into the various “cliques” of work and personal life, or sacrificing our values and desires to benefit someone else, you have signed up for a futile and heartless journey.

blankThe Universe created you a unique individual.  Like snowflakes, no two of us are alike.  You have a purpose that is yours, and yours alone.  It will benefit you and others, but first you must find it.  Then you must make it become real.

 

Don’t look to others to tell you what your purpose is.  If you don’t know what your purpose is, or if you think you might have an idea but you’re not sure, here are some suggestions to help you identify it in the next seven days to help you get clear on it.

 

 

Day One-teach yourself to be still

 

  • For the next seven days, every morning, wake up one hour early, or a minimum of a half hour early.

 

Take a notepad or journal and pen to a quiet spot, with no external noise or movement, preferably except nature, where you can let your mind wander, connect with your intuition, and receive information. This means no cell phone, no computer, no headphones, no music, no TV in the background, no kids, no spouse, no friends, and no coworkers nearby who can interrupt you, distract you, be in your plain of sight, see you, or enter your space. 

 

This needs to be just the three of you — your body, your inner wisdom, and your intelligence. Most of you will struggle with being still and quiet, with not checking your phone every two minutes for a text, email, or social media update. Let that go. None of that matters for that hour or half hour.

 

  • Become comfortable.

 

Choose a comfortable chair, sofa, cushion, or rug.  Sit in a comfortable position. Relax with your hands in your lap.  Close your eyes.  Center yourself.  Let all the tension you feel exit its way out of your body.  In your mind, do a slow count of four as you take three or four deep breaths, breathing each breath in all the way through your nose, then holding for one second, and exhaling each breath all the way out through your mouth.

 

After you take the deep breaths, continue breathing normally, but focus your attention on your breath by listening to your breathing.  Don’t quiet your breath.  Listen only to your breathing. As you breathe in, think: In with the Good. As you breathe out, think: Out with the Bad.  Focus your thoughts only on the feel and the sound of your breathing and those words. You will become very relaxed, quickly. In doing this repeatedly and regularly, you are training your mind to be still, quiet, undistracted, and unstressed.

 

One of the many books I read says “everything you need is already here”. That means that the answers to the questions you have you already know. In this fast-paced, and LOUD times we live in you can’t hear them. This practice will allow you to learn to be still so you can hear them.

blankAfter you have been doing this for as much time as it takes for you to become very relaxed, ask your inner self—your higher mindwhat you are in this life to do. Ask your inner self to show you what you need to see. Focus on your breath but listen to your higher mind.

 

 

  • Be open to what comes, whether it comes quickly, easily, slowly, in symbolism, or by physical message.

 

Allow yourself to believe that you are being guided.  Remember, you came from spirit, and are part of all that is.  Every answer you need is already within you.  If you can be still enough and quiet enough to listen, you will receive ideas, glimpses, hints, hunches, feelings, images, or memories.

 

  • Don’t pressure yourself to be productive, or fast, or perfect, or complete.  

 

Let all your “shoulds” fall away.  “I should have done this, or I should have done that”. Many times, answers and information will come later, when you’re not thinking about it, when you least expect it. After about five or ten minutes, gently guide yourself back into your surroundings and present time, and slowly open your eyes. 

 

Afterward, write any thoughts, feelings, images, ideas, glimpses, hunches, or memories that came.  If you don’t feel that you received anything, know that it is on its way to you.  It will come. Remember, don’t think, just write. 

 

 

Day Two-Let it Flow

 

Today you will be continue doing the teach yourself to be still exercise from yesterday and adding to it. Remember, this is a process so don’t take shortcuts. This is your destiny, what you will do for the rest of your life.

blank

  • After your season of quiet and stillness, write what excites you.

 

Don’t think too hard.  Feel.  Then write. You find that when you are open and, in the zone, ideas and desires will flow.  Like a champagne bottle that has just opened, thoughts and ideas will bubble out. Don’t control the process. Don’t put it all in order. Don’t critique it. Don’t rationalize it. Don’t judge it.  Just write. Your inner spirit will tell you what you need to hear.  You can put some order to it later.

 

 

  • Day Three-Ask Yourself The Deep Question

 

Answer this question after the teach yourself to be still exercise: “If I only had one year to live, am not afraid, know that nothing will hold me back, and am guaranteed that anything I want to do will not fail, what would I do?”

 

This may take multiple times to complete.  Repeat this exercise as often as you need to.  Let yourself be honest, direct, specific, and unchained.  Have fun with it.  See what comes out of you than write it down.

  • Day Four-Find YOUR Talent 

blankAfter the teach yourself to be still exercise, write your natural talents.  They are naturally yours for a reason.  There is no randomness involved.  List all of them, from simple to silly, nerdy to foolish, honed to rough, and everything in between.  Notice how you feel as you identify and write each one that comes to you, adding to them over time, and how you feel as you look at the list you have created.

 

  • Day Five-Find What You Are GOOD At

 

After the teach yourself to be still exercise do this in order.  Don’t cheat.  You will defeat the glory of the surprise and delight if you cheat.  Write what your friends would say you are good at?   Write all thoughts that come into your mind. 

 

Afterward, ask your friends or family the question.  Then, write their responses.  

 

Are you surprised by what you hear?  How do you feel? Write it down.

 

  • Day Six-Find YOUR Calling

blank

After the teach yourself to be still exercise, write everything that you can’t shut up about or stop thinking about.  

 

What is something you can’t stop thinking about, reading about, talking about, writing about, wanting to do, or wanting to experience? You need to be open on this. 

 

Don’t hold back and don’t judge or critique yourself.  No one will read this but you.

 

This will identify your calling. A calling is identified in the Merriam Webster dictionary as “a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence’. Is it any wonder you can’t stop thinking about it?

 

  • Day Seven-Identify your PASSION

 

After the teach yourself to be still exercise, write the things you most enjoy doing, feeling, working on, experiencing, and expanding on.  What are your passions great and small?

 

This series of exercises is powerful, especially for discovering or clarifying your passions, but what does passion mean? 

 

Passion is the difference between having a career and having a calling.

 

A passion is something you can’t imagine not being in your life. It’s worth all the time, energy, and detail you go through to have it in your life. You live it, dream it, and breathe it, even if we have kept it hidden. It’s part of what makes you YOU, and if you don’t pay attention to it, you are not living your life to its full potential. You lose where it starts and you end, and vice versa.

blank

Your passions have levels of importance to you and you categorize them into two or three highest core passions. 

 

I’ll bet most of you would say that you have a passion or two, when, it is really a wish or desire—not a passion. A wish has a return boat, in case the going gets tough or another bright shiny object catches your attention, and you can exchange your wish, or quit. 

 

You can discern whether someone’s passions are real when something else replaces them, or they die. Your passions will consume you, become bigger than life to you, bigger than you, and inspire your vision. 

 

When you have identified what your highest passion is, you are ready to create the vision for what it will look like, what you will do with it, and where it will take you.  

 

A vision is a long-range view of what you would like to do with your passion.

 

The vision is intentional and helps you execute your plan. This will require some work, inspired work, not willed or efforted or forced work. 

 

 

Here is an example:

 

My Identified Passion:  Helping people suffering in third world countries

 

My Vision:  Supply sustainable wheelchairs and/or water supplies to those in need in third world countries

 

My 1st Attainable Goal:  Supply 100 wheelchairs or water stations within 2 years

 

My Action Plan:  Design them.  Fund them.  Distribute them.  Etc.

 

 

When your passions meet your talents and your imagination, you will find your path to your purpose.

 

When you have identified your path and have a clear, written vision, a first attainable goal, and a plan, you are on your path. Your passion and vision don’t have to be worldly or grandiose, only powerfully connected to your heart, so they move you, inspire you, motivate you, and make you ready to start your day with focus, energy, and anticipation.  Do whatever it takes to walk your path and create your reality.

 

A word of caution:

 

When your passion meets purpose and ignites a desire for a goal, plan, or idea, keep it to yourself in the beginning.

 

Life has taught most people to look for validation, support, or cheers for their passion (s) from external sources.  If my friends will support me, or my family, or my pastor, or my partner, or my mentor… then I’m set; I’m fortified; I’m on the right track; I’m secure; I’m good! 

 

When the friend, spouse, parent, child, minister, counselor, colleague, or sibling doesn’t see the vision, or share the passion, or believe in your ability, they become the naysayers, the persons who prepare for your fall and want to protect you from disappointment or failure. 

After placing your excitement and dependence on their responses, your balloon deflates.  You may even quit your path.  When you quit, you quit on yourself. You quit on your self-belief, your ability to be self-directed and inspired.blank

 

Don’t ask for others to collaborate or support your vision.  Wait until you have begun your path and manifested something that empowers you and fills you with confidence.  Your passion and path are yours to follow and believe in.  Do the work that your inner calling guides you to do. When you do, you are living on purpose—your PURPOSE, your vision—not anyone else’s. 

 

Find your PURPOSE.  You may not realize your PURPOSE until later in life.  The age you are when you identify it has no consequence.  It will come to you when you are ready, and when you discover it, you’ll know without a doubt.  You’ll feel more deeply passionate about it than anything or anyone in your life.

 

We are at the end of our Seven-Day Journey to discovering your Passion in life. The reason you were born. Your Destiny.

During this journey you have learned:

 

  1. To Be Still and Listen to the inner voice inside of you that you might not have known you had.
  2. Discovered what Excites you.
  3. Identified what you could do if you could not fail.
  4. Discovered your Natural Talents.
  5. Identified what you are good at.
  6. Discovered your Calling in life.
  7. Found your Passion.

 

blankDon’t go to your grave with regrets.  Go with a brave heart, connection with your purpose, commitment to yourself, and for appreciation for what you have been and done.  This life isn’t a dress rehearsal. Your purpose is what you’re here for. 

 

Find your purpose!

 

Make the rest of your life be the Best of your Life.

 

Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, “if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

Change starts with us. Like ripples in water that has a rock thrown into it. Its not the big splash that has the effect, it’s the waves it creates that makes things happen.

Thank you for allowing me to guide you on this journey. Now Go Change the World, One Person at a Time, starting with YOU.

-Joseph Binning

You ARE Enough

The world is constantly changing. It moves at a rapid pace, and if you do not keep up, it leaves us behind. Understanding it is the hardest thing you will ever do. It is easy to think you don’t matter, that you have no voice, no say in things. I’m here to tell you, you are wrong. That You do Matter. Here’s why:

Like preparing for a mega-marathon, it requires more than just knowledge. You need the right equipment, and you need to know how to take care of that equipment to serve you and in case of emergency. You need the right people around you, people who are knowledgeable and willing to train you. And you need to be ready and willing to train, learn, and change. You can only learn when you are willing and ready. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Most of all, you need a reason to get to the finish line without quitting—a reason strong enough to quiet the voices in your head that make you want to give in.

In this vast world that moves so fast, we struggle to be relevant, influential, important, respected, loved, and—sometimes—just to be seen. I am the voice who shouts, “You Matter!” because you do, more than you might know. Sometimes you just need a little help to point you in the right direction.

The Tao Te Ching says, “When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be” (emphasis added). I encourage you to be open to new ideas as you read this. I encourage you to let go of your past self and start anew.

I have a saying: “If you don’t like something, change it.” And remember, you are worth every ounce of effort and concentration that you put into yourself because You matter, even if you do not think so.

 

The real voyage of discovery consists not of seeking new landscapes, but in having fresh eyes. 

—Marcel Proust

JosephBinning.com

You are born. You grow. You mature. You become an adult. You go to work. You may have children. You may have grandchildren. You may grow old. You may retire, or you may work until you die. You die. Is that about right?

You are not dead, or you would not be reading this. Yet, how alive are you?

It is so easy to settle in, follow the rules, pay your dues, and then wait for the end in the process of this thing called life—have you become numb? Or maybe you have not noticed. When you were young, you probably had dreams and visions, and maybe a few lofty goals. If you were like most, though, as you grew into adulthood, you abandoned your dreams and lofty goals one by one. Did you do that? Or did circumstances dictate your path? Do you have a suspicion, even a tiny one, that you might have missed out on an original life?

Do people have a hard time “seeing” who you really are? Do you secretly feel as if no one knows the real you or gets who you are deep inside? Is that because you have not let them? Have you created and nourished a wonderful sense of yourself? Or have you camouflaged yourself with habits, behaviors, compromises, possessions, money, or fear- or ego-driven behaviors? Do you sometimes feel that you do not really know who you are?

Following your death, you will have a tombstone or marker, on which will appear your name, a concise epitaph written by someone, and the date of your birth and death separated by a dash. The dash between your birth and death stands for your life. The dash stands for who you were and what others will remember you for. The dash symbolizes your entire life, the mark you left on people and this world, the meaning of your existence.

 

Life is not merely being alive, but being well

—Marcus Valerius Latin poet/author

JosephBinning.com
Be Well

If I were to ask you what your dash will stand for, beyond the loving words of your immediate family, what would you say? What significant event, purpose, effect, or deed would your lasting impression on the world represent? If you were on trial in a court of law and needed to justify your right to stay in your chosen country of residence by providing evidence of your good deeds and contributions, would you have enough evidence? Or would we find you lacking? What significance or purpose is there to your being on this earth?

You probably have a family and love your family that you love. But your family is not why you are here. Bearing children is the minimum requirement for ensuring the future existence of our species. It is not what keeps you from wondering if this is all there is, or if there is some deeper meaning in your life. Do you sometimes feel that you do not really know why you are here?

When you settled into your current job, relationship, home, marriage, routine, or lifestyle, did you gain weight? Over 60 percent of couples gain at least thirty pounds after settling into marriage and family life. Did you reason that your weight gain was from bearing children, the stress of work, the pressure of a mortgage, two car payments, dental bills, or a health condition?

Were you designed for a greater life, but are too busy to have one? Do you think greatness is only for the talented, the chosen, the lucky few? Do you sometimes wonder what if? What if I had gone to school instead of getting pregnant? What if I had married that girl? What if I had moved to that other state? What if I had started a business? What if I had traveled more before settling down? What if I had never had kids? What if I had stayed in school instead of dropping out?

If you were to introduce yourself to me for the first time, you would likely tell me your name, your age, your status in your family, the number of children you have and their ages and genders, the city you live in, something about your pets or hobbies, and what you do for a living.

News flash! None of these are who you are!

Each one of us must find his peace from within, and peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.

—Mahatma Gandhi leader of the Indian Independence Movement

JosephBinning.com

Identifying yourself with your age, what you do for a living, or with the members of your family is a response that comes from a lack of knowing yourself. Until you know who and what you are, and why you are here, the dash on your gravestone will have no meaning beyond your job and your family status and sentiments. Your dash needs to stand for something.

So, who are you? Why are you here? Why now? Why this place? What benefit to humanity do you bring to the table and how will the world be a better place because you are in it?

Say out loud with me right now: “humanity.” Like the ripple effect of a stone skipping across a pond, it means we design the meaning of our life to create multiple waves of momentum, radiating outward from your life and into our world, making lasting change for the betterment of humanity. Unless you have no clue why you are here. Don’t feel bad. Most people have no clue either.

In the world, we place much emphasis on our station in life. What we have or possess. Where we live, what we drive, what we wear, who we associate with, where we go. The list goes on and on. It’s easy to think because we have not that we don’t matter. That our lives are insignificant. That we have wasted space. That we don’t count.

Some will or have trained you to believe that life is fair. They are wrong; life is not fair. Why would we have sickness and death? Why do we have floods? Famine? Earthquakes? If they meant it to be fair, we would have none of these. But we do.

He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.

—Muhammad Ali Heavy Weight Champion

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Take Risks

When you first learned how to walk, do you remember falling? Do you remember how many times you fell? Most likely not. What you do possibly remember was the feeling of standing strong with a newfound independence, a world opened to alternative possibilities. That was not the teaching moment. It was when you got back up. When you came close to something stable, leaned into it, and pulled yourself up. That was life teaching you how you looked at it.

The teaching moment is in the moment of pulling yourself up, time and time again, until you get what you decided on, not because you deserved it, because you earned it. In life, we deserve nothing. It does not promise us anything. Everything we receive is a gift and we need to look at it that way. When you appreciate everything in your world, it becomes beautiful.

 

Joy happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.

—Marianne Williamson, author/ lecturer

JosephBinning.com
feel the Joy

Too many of you feel as if you are insignificant today. That you don’t matter. You have no voice that anyone listens to and possibly you don’t deserve to one. Some of you shout, possibly out of frustration, demanding to be heard. Some of you just fade into the background and don’t get back up.

Some of you feel you are not being seen. That you are not being noticed in life. That it is passing you by. You attract attention to yourself, shouting to the world “Look at me!”.

Some of you don’t feel respected and demand it from the world around you, yet the actions taken to gain respect are not respectful to others. I world will naturally give respect when you are respectful to others.

Here’s the truth. You Matter, even if you don’t think so. You Matter ESPECIALY if you don’t think so.

Take a moment and look at any sunrise. Watch as the sun gently and faithfully rises each morning. Watch as colors slowly engulf the sky, putting on a heavenly light show for you.

Watch as it sets below the horizon at night. Watch as it sets, and the moon rises. Notice the stars as they dance for you, just for you.

Notice the hummingbird as it hovers, passing pollen from place to place so life may grow.

Listen to the wind as it gently brushes against your ears, pushing the leaves from here to there.

Watch the power of the ocean as the waves crash into the shores forever, keeping it in motion.

Know that the sunrise and sunset dictate the tides and seasons perfectly and with the sole purpose to sustain you.

Now know this. Your creator, whoever you worship, believe in, pray to, meditate to, give an offering to, or hold deep in your heart, would still have created this, even if you were the only person on this planet. That’s how valuable you are. The trees, the mountains, the oceans, the deserts, all of it. Just for you.

The lack of or approval of others, the lack of or acceptance of others, the lack of or respect of others, can never change that fact. When you feel alone, when you feel oppressed, when you do not feel valued, when you do not feel seen or heard, remember that fact. You Matter! You Matter to me. You Matter to us as a community. You Matter to the world. This world would not be the same without you. We need you, all of us, and we need each other, every moment of every day of every week of every month of every year.

It’s when we forget that there is only one race, humanity, that we feel alone. When we forget, we are all in this together and you are not alone. You are NOT broken; you are NOT a mistake. We cannot do this without you. You are an intricate piece of the puzzle of life we are all a part of the puzzle is incomplete without you.

That’s why I say and believe You Matter, even if you don’t think so.

You might also like this: IN ORDER TO LOVE SOMEONE WELL, YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF, FIRST * 12 EASY STEPS TO LEARN HOW

And this one: WHY THE MESSAGE YOU MATTER, EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO IS SO IMPORTANT NOW

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

Joseph Binning

Once upon a time in ancient China, there was a builder who worked only for the Emperor. For several decades he designed and built many magnificent houses and majestic structures for the Emperor and the royal court and was getting ready to retire.

One day, the Emperor summoned him. “I understand you will retire soon and enjoying a well-deserved rest from the toils of working for so many years, but I have one last project for you” said the Emperor. I want you to design and build the best house you have ever created. You will oversee all work from the beginning to the end. I have already picked out the best location for the house. All you need do is buy the best materials and hire the best workers to build it. Spare no expense. It must be your best work.”

With this last task the builder saw an opportunity. Since he would be the only one in charge, no one would know if he took a few shortcuts here and there. Since he was about to retire, this would be his last chance to make a little extra money. He was, after all, the best builder in the land and knew how to make something look good on the outside even though it was built poorly on the inside.

They granted the builder unlimited resources to build the house, of which he only spent a fraction of by buying low grade materials and using less expensive and less qualified labor and rushed the project to completion. When the builder finished, he sent word to the Emperor of the house’s completion.

The Emperor was pleased and vowed to visit the house to see what the builder had built.

JosephBinning.com

 

When the Emperor arrived, the builder was surprised to see all the Emperor’s Ministers and Royal Court had accompanied him. They were all extremely impressed with the house and the builder was not concerned that they would discover he had taken so many shortcuts because he used all of his tricks he had learned over the years to hide them.

The Emperor gathered all his Royal Court together and made an announcement. “As you all know, the builder has worked tirelessly for me for many years and has designed and built many grand structures and now is retiring and this house will be his greatest masterpiece.

The Emperor then handed the builder the keys to the house and proclaimed “the best way for me to thank him and show him my appreciation for many years of faithful work, is to give his greatest masterpiece to him as the perfect retirement present.”

Everyone erupted in applause, but the builder stood stunned in disbelief.

 

This story is a metaphor for life. When you enter it, it gives you unlimited resources and opportunities to build the best life possible. It is your responsibility to direct whatever energy is required to manage it. Your mission is clear: build the best life possible and spare no expense.

 

Where your story gets complicated is when, like the builder, you find out that you are in charge and must assume sole responsibility of your life from beginning to the end, from birth to death. By that I mean you are free to design your life any way you desire. This freedom is a wonderful thing because, like the builder, only you are in charge. There is great liberty in knowing you, and only you, oversee your life. This freedom can also be a terrible thing because you are only accountable to yourself. There is no one watching or supervising you to make sure you make the correct decisions and choices. Only you know when you take a short cut in life.

The trap in life is when we believe because we are in charge, we only need to do the minimal to get by. Not putting in the required work needed to gain that what you deserve in life, creating a façade with no substance that would require the tedious work needed to accumulate what we need to build the best life possible. You create a false image for you and others to see.

The trap gives you momentum without knowing it; it allows you to take the effortless way out without doing the work required. But it is in doing the work required that creates the person who you need to be. It is not the destination in life that makes you the person you need to become; it is the journey that shapes you and molds you. It is the mistakes you make along the way that teaches you who you want to be.

The builder who thought he was working for someone else and took short cuts, but he only cheated himself out of a tremendous gift in the end. When you cheat, you cheat yourself. We cannot destroy a house built on a firm foundation. We can shake it. It will go through storms, but it will not fall.

JosephBinning.com

 

Here is How to Build a Significant Life

  1. Always be Teachable

Never stop learning and never stop being willing to allow life to teach you fresh things. It is when we feel we have arrived life is over. Remember, it is what you learn AFTER you know it all that counts.

  1. Look in the mirror first

Every day wake up and look in the mirror. Ask the person you see if they are doing the very best they can and demand an honest answer. If the answer is no, tell them to fix it.

  1. Do the right thing, even when no one is looking

Always do your best in everything. When you cheat and take shortcuts you cheat yourself. You are worth more than second best.

  1. Remember you are worth it

We cheat and take short cuts because they are easy. They do not require hard work. Each time you cheat or take a short cut the next time it becomes easier. Soon, it becomes the only way you know. Know that each time you cheat or take a short cut you cheat yourself out of a victory, be it large or small. You deserve and are worth those victories.

  1. Show the World how to live

Notice I did not say, tell the world, I said to show the world. Life is a stage and people are watching you. Your actions are teaching someone something every day if you want to or not. Teach them well.

JosephBinning.com

You might also like this:  DON’T WAIT TO FIND OUT YOU ARE DYING BEFORE YOU START LIVING

And this one: WHAT I LEARNED FROM BEING STUCK AND FROZEN

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

You Matter, even if you don't think so

The Age-Old Question; Who Are You?

There was something formless and perfect

before the universe was born.

It is serene. Empty.

Solitary. Unchanging.

Infinite. Eternally present.

It is the mother of the universe.

For lack of a better name,

I call it the Tao.

It flows through all things,

inside and outside, and returns

to the origin of all things.

The Tao is great.

The Universe is great.

The Earth is great.

Man is great.

These are the four great powers.

Man follows the earth.

Earth follows the universe.

The Universe follows the Tao.

The Tao follows only itself.

— Lao-Tzu

Verse 25, Tao Te Ching

 

All religions of the world agree on one thing. We start out as energy, formless, and without matter, in what some call Heaven, or the Universe, Nirvana, Paradise, or Olam Ha-Ba, to name a few.  We then come into human form for a brief time. There are various belief systems about whether, when, and where we return to formless energy. But that’s a discussion for another time. Let’s take one step at a time.

 

You came from spirit to experience a human reality.

You did not appear as human to experience spirituality.

— Joseph Binning

 

Re-read the verse.  “Man-Woman is great”—not average, not mediocre, not so-so.  Great! When you were in the womb, did you have low self-esteem?  Did you have self-doubt?  Did you feel insignificant?  Did you need to be liked, accepted, approved of, Loved?  No. You were Perfect.  You were Whole.  You were Complete.  You are perfect, whole, complete.  You ARE one of the four great powers. Nothing has changed this truth of who you were—and who you ARE.

JosephBinning.com

We all originate from the same source.  We all come from spirit and become human. We all are connected in this way. We all exist to be of service to the expansion and goodness of humanity. We all are given this purpose.  We all are connected in this purpose.  We all return when we are finished with our purpose, and we all will remain connected, always.

 

If we all were perfect, how did we become so flawed, unworthy, wrong, incomplete, and lacking?  Why have we become required to prove our worthiness and goodness?  Why are we continually suppressing and doubting ourselves, our worthiness, our greatness?

 

Here’s why.  After we were born, we interfered with our state of perfection. We created dual realities, opposite realities, comparative realities: beauty versus ugliness; tall versus short; smart versus stupid; my race versus your race; my religion versus your religion; my country versus your country; my God versus your God.

 

Why did we begin comparing ourselves to others?  Does our station in life make us feel better than, or less valuable than someone from another station? Does our location make us better than, or not as good as another? Does our color, religion, or political affiliation make us feel better or less than?

JosephBinning.com

In creating and adhering to these dual realities, we lost our sensory awareness—our knowing—of our greatness. By drifting away from our innate knowing, we lost our selves. We forgot who we are, as soon as we began identifying ourselves by our religion, our external appearance, our job or career, our children, our relationship, our friends, our educational status, our possessions, our social status, our financial status.

 

What most of us do for a living is only the means of income to pay our living expenses. If we identify ourselves with our jobs or business, what happens if that disappears?  What happens if, suddenly, you’re not the vice president of your company, and you have to look for a different job?  You experience one or more of these feelings: loss; humiliation; failure; confusion; anger; resentment; depression; anxiety; self-pity; vulnerability; illness; grief; lack of purpose; or loss of self.

 

When we focus on the outer appearances of our individual existences, it’s easy to fall prey to these feelings. So, how do we not fall prey to them?  Remember, when we were created, we were great.  We are one of the four great powers.  We came from Greatness. We are Greatness.  We are destined for Greatness—Our Greatness—not someone else’s.  We were born with it.  Our greatness does not depend on anyone’s opinion, permission, or approval.  Our greatness does not shrink or dissolve.   It only becomes less visible to us, because we are looking outside of ourselves, not seeing our true selves.

 

Right now, begin living by two Creeds:

 

  1. Live with No Regrets: Put careful thought into everything you do, think, focus on, and choose– Own all of your decisions—and all of your outcomes—because you are going to be the sole chooser and creator of your life.  Commit to your choices. Commit to your life.  Commit to YOU.

 

  1. Others’ opinions are none of your business: This is the most important creed to live by. You are no longer going to base your self-worth or self-Love on others’ opinions of you. The only opinion that matters is that of the person you see in the mirror each morning. And that person is Great!

 

JosephBinning.com

 

Take a moment now to write ten things you do, outside of your work.  Here are a few examples: cooking; scuba diving; meditating; running; reading; volunteering, attending a Meet Up, etc.  If you are on a roll and want to write more than ten, don’t stop the flow.  Write as many as come up for you.

 

After completing this simple exercise, you will discover that when someone asks what you do, you’ll have quite a lot to tell them. And that might lead to helping them identify what they do, as well!

 

People cannot hurt you without your permission.

— Mahatma Gandhi

If you have enjoyed this article please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so choose to be happy.

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One of the most well-known men in history, Sihartha Guatama- also known as the Buddha- transformed an entire culture, and still does today.

His teachings were rational, accessible, and most of all, simple. The simplistic nature of his teachings appeals to me as a traveler on this journey we call life.

He taught the path of enlightenment, the way of truth that anyone could discover provided they came with an open heart and an open mind. It is said he had discovered Nirvana himself while sitting underneath a Bodhi tree.

Travelling only a tiny segment of northern India, Buddha’s teachings are one of the few religions that spread through nonviolent means. Keyword; non-violent.

JosephBinning.com

Instead of being converted by force as many religions have done, the simplistic way convinced millions how to show up in this life. A way with peaceful solutions to everyday problems, trials, and tribulations. Rather than react and attempt to control life’s outcome, the thought is to be one with it. To be a part of it, a minor piece of life’s puzzle, not the center, or principal part of it.

Because of its freeing nature and by adopting the teachings which translated to a way of seeing and living one’s life, it worked for people, many people. Today there are 375 million followers of the Buddhist way of life and it is the fourth largest religion after Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism.

2,600 years later, it still work’s for people. I am one of them. Although I do not claim to be a Buddhist, I align myself with many of the teachings because of the simplicity it brings to my life. To me, what I relate to the most is the simple thought, and my number one thought, Be Happy. Not be Happy when… Not be Happy if… Not be Happy because… Just, be Happy. Happiness is a choice. No external thing, person, or circumstance can make me Happy. Only I can. Happiness is, a choice, an internal choice. This was, and still is, the most liberating life decision I have ever made.

Let us be clear here, I am not advocating for Buddhism, nor am I suggesting your choice of how you live your life is wrong and mine is right. Far from that. In my studies I research all religions and all teachings from many teachers, as I suggest you do, to gain a well-rounded way of deciding what is correct for you. I do not advocate blindly following any teaching without doing the research first. Ultimately, it’s your choice and your decision. Its is your life and you need to choose what is best for you.

While Buddha rarely gave explicit advice on relationships, he gave commonsense advice on how to move through life. We can apply many of his teachings to all kinds of circumstances, including our relationships.
Here are 5 of his teachings that can make a lasting impact in how you approach your relationships.

You are Enough

JosephBinning.com

 

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

This, more than any other teaching of the Buddha, means the most to me. To Love another, you must first Love yourself. The Tao Te Ching says, “everything I need, is already here”. Two complete people make a relationship work; two incomplete people create chaos. Love yourself first.

Do not fight what you cannot change

 

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Relationships will frustrate you. We design them to be that way. When we attempt to control an outcome is when we realize we are not in charge and we need to accept it. Rather than get frustrated because of someone’s behavior, accept that that is who they are in that moment, but realize that might not be who they are.

Rather than get frustrated because of any outcome, ask yourself, what was I supposed to learn here? What was life trying to teach me? What valuable lesson am I missing because of my anger? One moment of anger can change an entire life of kindness and good deeds in an instant.

 

Trust

Trust yourself

 

“It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.”

One of my biggest mistakes in past relationships was to not ask questions out of fear. Sometimes what you hear might not be what that person said. Some of the best advice I have ever received was from a pastor friend of mine. Sometimes in life you will misunderstand or be misunderstood. The trick is to figure out which one it is BEFORE you argue.

Trust your partner enough to ask for clarification first. More times than not you will find what they said verses what you heard does not align with what you thought they said and you might say something that cannot be unsaid.

 

 

You attracted your partner to you

JosephBinning.com

 

“Our thoughts shape us; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”

Everything you think, you attract. Therefore, it stands to reason the relationships you attract are a manifestation of your thoughts. When your thoughts are pure in that relationship, your relationship can shift to a higher level.

My number one thought in my relationship is to be the best Me, for Her. To show her the Love she deserves I must show myself that Love first. I must understand it. I must nurture it myself. I must take care of my body temple. I must take care of my heart to prevent from becoming jaded. I must be Happy first without her but rejoice in the happiness with being with her. With no expectations of Her or anything in return.

 

Love is NOT a spectator sport

JosephBinning.com

 

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.”

It is said that Love conquers all. But Love alone is not enough; it needs action.

For Love to flourish, Love requires you to never stop working at it. Never go on automatic. Never assume.

One of my greatest examples of Love in a relationship is a couple I know, who after 26 years of being in a relationship, having raised three children, still go on regular date nights. Each takes turns arranging the dates every week. Time spent just the two of them without distractions. From picnics, to dinners, to movies, to simple walks in the park. Neither neglects the relationships core value and foundation on which we build it on. Neither takes each other for granted, but values what the other brings to the relationship.

 

 

Be Kind

If It’s Broken, Fix It 

When words are both true and kind, they can change the world.”

Relationships, like life, will test you. They will push you to your limits, on purpose. We bring these moments into our life to teach us, to mold us, and yes, to reward or discipline us. In those moments when you are mad, frustrated, or just at your wits end, be kind. Allow the other person to be right. Give the other the same break you would give yourself. Think BEFORE you say, especially in moments of anger.

Last, Love with everything. Do not hold back. Give everything and expect nothing in return. Giving anything and expecting something in return was after all never a gift, only a bribe.

 

 

 

 

You might also like this:  IN THE END ALL THAT MATTERS IS WHAT YOU DO

And this one: WHY THE MESSAGE YOU MATTER, EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO IS SO IMPORTANT NOW

If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles.

You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don’t think so

For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

Joseph Binning